Kimberly Guilfoyle Spent Her Birthday With a Former Pussycat Doll, Possibly Inside a Haunted Cave 

Kimberly Guilfoyle, former Fox News host and current Don Jr. girlfriend, celebrated her 50th birthday this weekend with a serenade from a former member of the Pussycat Dolls that maybe happened at Mar-a-Lago or inside a haunted cave. Thankfully, a clip of the event, which appeared to take place in a very place with creepy wall paintings, was recorded in a very blurry video.

But before the haunted Mar-a-Lago bash, Page Six reported that Guilfoyle and Trump were joined at a restaurant in New York City by Eric and Lara Trump and about 20 other guests—including Fox News’s Jesse Watters, a man who can’t tell black people apart, and Sen. Rand Paul’s deputy chief of staff, Sergio Gor, a man who actually tweeted this. According to a Page Six “spy,” there were three cakes (!!!) and diners kept sending them bottles of champagne. (Who are these diners?) Guilfoyle managed to blow out all the candles without bursting into flames, a commendable feat.

Ivanka Trump was probably too busy saving every woman on the planet to attend. Sad!

A couple of days later, the birthday celebration continued in what appears to be the dank, dark cave….. or Mar-a-Lago. There, Guilfoyle was serenaded by Kaya Jones, a conservative singer and Pussycat Dolls reject.

Jones’s singing chops are debatable:

In a separate Instagram post, Jones called Guilfoyle “America’s princess.”

Happy 50th, Kimberly Guilfoyle! May you continue to surround yourself with some of the worst people America has to offer.