Kim Kardashian West is many things: law student; mother; detox tea shiller; a body; a brand. In line with at least one of those qualifiers is her new body foundation line, trotted out as her answer to living with psoriasis. Days after the launch, videos of Kardashian smoothing a thick, flesh-colored liquid over her slightly-marred calves circulated on Instagram—mesmerizing and slightly horrifying to see.

It is because of these “results” and the oddly soothing close-ups of legs rendered smooth and poreless with a few short strokes of a brush that compelled us to purchase as much of the product as we could to try it for ourselves. Using a variety of “scientific” methods, three intrepid Jezebel staffers tried their best to make a product likely designed only for the very famous work for them. Some of us hated it, but one of us (hell0) was, unfortunately, sold. Evil works in mysterious ways.

Senior Producer: Jennifer Perry; Producer: Lisa Fischer; Creative Producer: Michael Pasquariello

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