Kim Kardashian Is Making a Fourth Child Via Surrogate

Illustration for article titled Kim Kardashian Is Making a Fourth Child Via Surrogate
Image: Getty

I hope your new year has been restorative and pleasant, and I am sorry to say that it won’t be for long: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are making another baby.


This is according to an Us Weekly EXCLUSIVE, which states that the Kardashian-Wests will be expecting another heir via surrogate—a boy baby, this time around, to balance out the set, I guess? The source reports that they had one male embryo left, and so they shot their shot. The fourth heir will arrive sometime in May.

Kim reportedly “always” wanted four kids, which is an awful lot of children for a normal person but is maybe the correct amount of children for a Rich and Famous. The squadron of nannies that tend to North, Chicago, and Saint are surely up for the challenge of another small baby, don’t you think? I’m sure North, whose general countenance in photos suggests to me that she is at least 15 years old, doesn’t need a nanny now that she’s a grown-up! Give North’s nanny to New Baby West and let North run this town as it was destined.


[Us Weekly]

Here is the only energy I wish to bring into the first month of 2019, courtesy of Ariana Grande, my big Ponytail, who had a hell of a year.

An Arianator tweeted a joke that they were dating Miss Ponytail, but Miss Ponytail has decided that she is not dating anyone, ever again, maybe forever. Who among us has not felt even a sliver of that energy at some point and tried our best to harness it? Though the sentiment of this tweet is meant to “empower,” I am kind enough in this burgeoning new year to accept it for now. Listen, a lot has happened to and around her. She needs a break! Give her a break.



Illustration for article titled Kim Kardashian Is Making a Fourth Child Via Surrogate

Okay, girl! [Page Six]

  • Oh shit, Toni Braxton and Birdman broke up!? [E! News]
  • Shay Mitchell revealed she had a miscarriage in 2018. [People]
  • The headline of this post asks if Madonna got a “Brazilian bum lift” and I truly do not want to know the answer. [ONTD]

Managing Editor, Jezebel

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I’m trying to wrap my head around “David Geffen’s $590,000,000 yacht, Rising Sun.” We’ve heard about famous guests on that tub, but this is the first time I’ve seen that valuation, and it’s truly mind blowing. It seems to me that if Celebrity or Viking Cruises were launching a new luxury cruise ship (that might accommodate, say, ~1500 passengers and ~800 crew), 1/2 a billion dollars sounds about right. (Those Royal Caribbean monster things the size of a Vegas hotel obviously cost much more).

So Geffen’s yacht is 435' long. That’s huge, but that means $1.4 million/foot! I’m certain there must be luxurious staterooms and bathrooms for 30 or 40 guests, plus as many spots for crew below deck.

I’m working this out as I type, because the sheer vulgarity of over half a billion dollars on a yacht, which is not his full time residence; he lives in Malibu, well the only thing I can say is BRING BACK THE EISENHOWER ERA TOP MARGINAL TAX RATES (91%)!