Kim and Kanye Want to Help Man Who Needs a Kidney With Some Fancy New Kicks

If you ever doubted that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were actually really cool people, here’s some exciting news that will shatter the cold metal locks currently shackling your heart: America’s first couple want to help a man who’s desperate for a kidney. By hooking him up with a free pair of Yeezys.

TMZ reports that a man named Matt Neal, who suffers from a condition which causes kidney failure and has a pair of Yeezys (which are, if you’re unfamiliar, Kanye-designed sneakers that are very fashionable/look like someone skinned a particularly ugly snake with no future prospects) has offered his pair of shoes to anyone who will give him a kidney in return. Moved by his plight, the Kardashian-Wests have apparently made an offer of their own: if Neal finds someone who’s willing to make the trade, they’ll give him another pair of the very rare shoes which are not only fashion-forward but appear to be “ribbed for her pleasure.” (Yo, check the pic before you disagree).

Only one problem:

Now the tough news. Federal law makes it illegal for anyone to offer money or merchandise in return for an organ. There’s no wiggle room … the law is clear.

Of course, now that the story has made national news, lots of people are willing to just give Neal a kidney, for free, even though they could probably make up to $10,000 on the black market for it. Uh, that seems like a lot less than I thought a kidney was worth. Considering how many urban legends, horror movies, and Audrey Taut0u films (in which she desperately tries to break the walls of the Amelie box she’s firmly been placed in) exist about stealing organs, you’d think you could get at least 50k for one of those bad boys if you handed one over voluntarily. Turns out you wouldn’t even be able to afford more than two nights in a luxury Malibu rental. But this story isn’t about the fact that I’ve just had to cross something off my list of backups in case this whole blogging thing doesn’t work out; it’s a story about humanity and generosity and some very expensive shoes. Also about the fact that no matter what you think about Kim and Kanye, you’ve got to admire the fact that they genuinely just seem pretty okay IRL.