Another beautiful day in America brings another faux-scandale courtesy of the Kardashians. This time, though, it is Khloé, and not Kim, who is being accused of some sort of Photoshop scandal that I guess doesn’t exist.
Khloe’s jeans company, Good American, posted the above photo of Khloe looking like the Slenderman’s girlfriend, and received in turn an awful lot of pushback about why her hands and feet looked like they were stretched out like taffy. Many people accused her of a “Photoshop fail.” While that is not out of the realm of possibility for this Kardashian specifically, whose face and body have, um, changed, over the years, Madame Denim-Lady weighed in, clarifying that, no, her hands and her feet are not normally that length.
So it’s a “stretching effect,” which is apparent if you look at this other picture from the shoot. There’s a lot to be said about the body and its shape here, as well as the enhancements, but I am of the firm belief that if you want to, say, put a bunch of stuff in your butt so that it looks like not one but two Honeybaked hams shoved into a pair of pantyhose, that’s your business and not mine. I do not profess to know what is going on in Khloé’s interior life, so I won’t make any assumptions, but they change their bodies enough that it is fair game to investigate if only to satisfy one’s curiosity. (This photograph of Kendall Jenner confused the group chat long enough for some of us to measure the distance between our bellybuttons and the front crack of our vaginas to see if she’s just Photoshopped or very tall.)
However, at this time, she’d like us to believe that the ad is about the shoes, which is VERY clearly not Photoshop and instead, a piss-poor homage to the iconic Steve Madden shoots of the 2000s where the models all had big-ass heads, haunted doll-eyes, and were very clearly, uh, fake!!
Khloé’s “stretched” pictures are meant to highlight the shoes, which is what she’s selling—not the jeans, not the extensive and confusing surgical enhancements—the shoes. It’s the shoes. [People]
I do not know what on earth is wrong with people, though I know it is still a fucking panini and everything is terrible. This news is awful: Lady Gaga’s dog walker, Ryan Fischer, was shot four times in the chest by two men, who then stole two of the three dogs and disappeared into the West Hollywood night.
Miss Gaga is currently on set in Italy, and Fischer was taking care of her beloved angels, Miss Asia, Koji, and Gustavo. Koji and Gustavo were stolen by the perpetrators, and Miss Asia managed to make a break for it, only to be found later by the LAPD. I know that French bulldogs are expensive and that people love them because they look like little bats and make sounds like truffle pigs, but this is absolutely awful. Hopefully the dog walker is OK, Koji and Gustavo make their way back to their pals, and they figure out what the fuck and who did this.
Here’s what Miss Asia looks like, just because it’s nice to look at a dog every now and again. Yeah, she’s shilling for Coach, but surely we can let that slide. [Daily Mail]
- Oh dear, Trisha Yearwood has covid, but her husband, Garth Brooks, does not. [People]
- Does it make sense that Gia Giudice is the only one with some common sense in that freakin’ family? Yeah, I think it does. [Us Weekly]
- Congratulations to the New Jersey cop who arrested Bruce Springsteen for drunk driving in Novemeber; I’m sure he got a pat on the back by the boys at the station, but the joke is on THEM, because Bruce’s charges were dismissed. [New York Times]