Apparently, there was a rumor that Khloé Kardashian was going to find her next husband on The Bachelorette, and now that she’s shot the rumor down, I’m kind of bummed.
Mike Fleiss, creator of The Bachelor, recently tweeted that he’d been in contact with his “dear friend” Kris Jenner about booking Khloé to find love while America watched.
Khloé quickly replied that she’s “not fucking clickbait” (a point I beg to differ on), and that she’ll sue if Fleiss keeps implying that she’s in talks to be on the show.
But as someone who loves the Bachelor franchise more than I love some members of my own family, I’d like to ask Khloé to reconsider. Some of us are still trying to forget the complete boner-killer that was Arie’s season, and this year’s virginity-centric narrative is the television equivalent of a Tylenol PM. We’re almost to hometowns, and I still can’t tell most of the contestants apart. Khloé, on the other hand, has over a decade of experience giving people the lowbrow reality TV they want, is arguably the best Kardashian by virtue of being the only one to discuss the size of her vagina with RuPaul and Michelle Visage, and is also the singlest.
We already know she’d be there for the right reason, that reason being attention. She could be the very thing that brings the show back from the brink of chastity and returns us to the golden age of horny televised yelling that the true fans so desperately miss.
Do this for us, Khloé. We deserve more than Cassie.