'Keto Crotch' Might Be the Strongest Argument for Eating Carbs Yet

Illustration for article titled Keto Crotch Might Be the Strongest Argument for Eating Carbs Yet
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Carbs are the rom-com bad boy of the food pyramid. We’re told they’re dangerous and bad for us, but good god they’re so much more appealing than the boneless, skinless chicken breast in the letterman jacket.

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Oh, and by the way, carbs are maybe the only thing keeping the puss from getting rank, which doesn’t really work with the above analogy, but there’s no going back now. According to Women’s Health, there are complaints circling the internet about “keto crotch,” or a strong odor some vaginas begin to emit after dieters cut out carbs.

The keto diet also makes breath smell like nail polish remover because, as the body burns fat for energy rather than carbs, it goes into ketosis, which in turn causes the body to produce more ketones than normal, including acetoacetate, beta-hydroxybutyrate, and acetone. That increase in ketones makes for smellier poop, pee, and breath. Lovely.

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But apparently, that’s not what’s making everyone’s boxes musty. Dr. Jessica Shepherd, a gynecologist, says that changes in diet can alter the vagina’s pH, and that’s what changes the odor. However, this claim hasn’t been tested, so maybe keto crotch isn’t really a thing. And none of these articles say, exactly, what the smell is, so it’s kind of hard to speculate.

The Daily Mail reports that Gwyneth Paltrow is a fan of the diet. Should she comment on the matter, I’ll update accordingly. Until then, I’m going to eat a goodly amount of pasta just to err on the side of caution.

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DISCUSSION

mycatsevileye
MyCat'sEvilEye

It’s not just vaginas! There was a bodybuilder in my dorm when I was in college who basically only ate meat as part of some weird 0% body fat diet. He was stunningly gorgeous, intelligent, and charming. He got tons of one-night stand tail but could never hold down a girlfriend. Why? It was openly discussed (behind his back) and widely known that he smelled like “meat sweats” during sex, with blow jobs counting as particularly unpleasant by all accounts. Everyone described the smell the same way- as an unhealthy and unpleasant meaty aroma, like hot dogs. It makes sense that if you’re eating a nutritionally poor diet (which these low carb, high protein diets are) that it’s going to mess with your body chemistry.