Kelly Bensimon Is Insulted By Other Women's Vaginas

On part one of last night’s reunion of Real Housewives of New York, Kelly Bensimon mentioned that she was named by Cosmopolitan as one of the “five most nice celebrities ever.” No evidence of this list exists online, so we just have to take her word for it, which is actually a really hard thing to do, considering her recorded history with inanity and confusion regarding reality. Even on the reunion, she was contradicting herself left and right, insisting that she was “nice” and then saying something offensive, admonishing someone out for being “weird” and then claiming that individuality is “cool,” being asked a question about comments she made on camera and then insisting that she never uttered said comments, etc. She tried to clear some things up in her blog this week, but it really only made matters murkier (and more fun to laugh at):

I was raised by a lawyer and facts always come first. On this show, facts are always railroaded by people’s delusion…Last season, we were bombarded by constant infomercials for various products, and I, like you, was confused and offended. This season we are bombarded with situations like burlesque parties, pinot parties, and odd interactions that aren’t “what New York really looks like.” There are drunk blondes in every city in America, in the Midwest we call them “bar flies.” New York is an amazing place that’s inspiring on so many levels with endless opportunities and outlets for creative expression…In my opinion, the luckier women in NY are usually very busy being supportive mothers, philanthropists, and standing in line at Whole Foods…That’s why I stick out. I speak my mind with the goal to be effective, but not necessarily always right. Do I want to see a 40-something year old women’s vulva? I’m not a gyno, FYI.

One of the more annoying factors of the reunion is that all the women were speaking over each other almost the whole time, so it’s difficult to understand anything they’re saying, but if you listen closely in the clip above, when Kelly is criticizing Sonja for poor hygiene and cleanliness, Alex says, “You let your dog eat out of the dishwasher!” To which Kelly replies, “That was a really, really, really clever Christmas card.”

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