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Katy Perry's Breast Pump Would Like You to Vote

Illustration for article titled Katy Perrys Breast Pump Would Like You to Vote
Screenshot: Instagram

The election is around the corner, people are voting now, Trump is back in the motherfucking house, and here we have a melange of celebrities, including Katy Perry’s breast pump, urging you to vote. Please!! It’s urgent! The breast pump demands it!!

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The video, which is available on IGTV, features a remarkably well-preserved Jane Fonda leading a workout class over Zoom, with very special famous people in 80s workout gear. There’s Kerry Washington, doing crunches. Look, it’s Ken Jeong on a treadmill! Hey, there’s Shaq, working his glutes by squeezing them while the camera zooms in. Oh, Amy Schumer. (It appears that Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, and Legolas were also present, but I missed them and shan’t watch this again!) Everyone is here, together, hanging out while being apart, “working out” and reminding... whoever the target demo is for this confusing campaign to GET to the POLLS or to the MAILBOX or WHATEVER and VOTE YOUR HEART OUT, FOR THE RIGHT PERSON, PLEASE, THANKS!

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A fine video, a nice message, happy that Kitty Purry is adjusting so well to motherhood. Nothing rude to say here publicly, so just let Katy Perry’s breast pump urge you towards the polls, so that this slightly embarrassing but well-intentioned PSA and the celebrities attached to it can feel like they’ve done their job. [People]


I’m not sure why I’m like this, but Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello’s “relationship” sustains me in times of darkness, depresses me in times of joy, and confuses me almost all the time, because I cannot figure out when this shit is going to end. In any case, here’s a new update, featuring a puzzling quote from Shawn about “vibes.”

First of all, Camila has been in London, filming an upcoming Cinderella movie? She has been there for one month and change. Mendes has been “housesitting” for his girlfriend of over a year, which I guess means sitting on the couch, eating Wheat Thins from the box, and unloading the dishwasher infrequently, if ever. Maybe he’s also been playing the piano wistfully and trying on a selection of chapeaux from what I assume is a bountiful collection of shared fashion hats. Anyway, whatever, he’s been alone for a minute, his love is coming back, and this is what they both are and aren’t going to do:

When asked if he’ll play his own music for Cabello when she gets home, Mendes explained, “You definitely don’t just sing to your girlfriend, especially when your girlfriend is also a singer.”

Instead, Mendes said that they enjoy listening to Latin music together. “She knows what they’re saying in the songs, I don’t know what they’re saying,” he told the radio hosts. “I’m just feeling this beautiful Latin vibe and it just kind of puts me at ease.”

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So Mendes will NOT sing for his girlfriend because the subtext I’m getting here is that he’s not that good of a singer and she, somehow is better? Instead of singing, Camila will translate “Latin vibes”? Okay! [E! News]


  • No kissy kissy because people are always watching these two crazy kids!!! [E! News]
  • Whoa, excuse me, hello, Kanye had coronavirus in March? [Us Weekly]
  • YAS, Mary-Kate Olsen is free from that old man she married and is now enjoying both wine and carbs in equal measure!!! [Daily Mail]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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happysunday
happysunday

For fuck’s sake, Jez, I am not going to subscribe to your goddamn newsletter!!!

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP