Kate Middleton Confides in a Irish Guardsman That She Really Wants a Baby Boy

Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, Princess of all the Shiniest Locks in the Faerie Land of Great Britain, had a busy St. Patrick’s Day. She put on a trim green blazer and spent the morning meeting members of the Irish Guards at the St. Patrick’s Day parade. Things were going so smashingly that she even told one of the guards that, although her husband and royal breeding partner Prince William would prefer that her uterus bequeath a girl, she would prefer a boy.

The Telegraph has all the sordid little details:

After carrying out the presentation in the ceremony old tradition which was carried out by the Queen Mother, the royal couple chatted to soldiers from the 1st Battalion Irish Guards in the Guardsmens’ cookhouse.

Guardsman Lee Wheeler, 29, who told the Duchess he missed his 22-month-old son whilst on duty, said he chatted to her about the baby.

“I asked her ‘do you know if it’s a girl or boy’, and she said ‘not yet’. She said ‘I’d like to have a boy and William would like a girl’. That’s always the way,” he recalled.

“I asked her if she had any names yet and she said no. I said I suppose you’ve got to stick to traditional names.”

I suppose Kate and Will should stick to a traditional name, but what good is being a real, authentic royal if you can’t enjoy the prospect of your offspring one day being referred to by straight-faced commoners as King/Queen MuffinBlaster X-Wing Pants III, IV, V, & VI?

The Duchess also got one of her stiletto heels caught in metal grating. As she teetered, a nation held its breath, only to exhale in relief when William offered her a steadying arm, just like a real prince would.