Justin Bieber Shows Solidarity With Millions of Twenty-Somethings Who Bleach Their Hair Every Winter

The seasons are changing! Pumpkin spice has overwhelmed your local Trader Joe’s. Every morning, city denizens do their best to not injure themselves slipping on growing piles of wet trash. And most importantly, the air has filled with the heartwarming smell of Bath & Body Works’ bestselling Christmas-time candle: “Twenty-Something Soaked in Hydrogen Peroxide!”

Justin Bieber, having succumbed to the Yuletide spirit, debuted pink hair Sunday while posing for the paparazzi outside his Beverly Hills home. He paired the look with matching sweatpants, a green hoodie, and a basketball, which he dribbled around for good measure while cameras flashed and desperate photographers cried out for his attention.

In bleaching his hair for the winter, Bieber joins millions of fellow twenty-somethings experiencing all manner of annual, holiday-induced crises .And unlike those millions of twenty-somethings, he escaped the experience looking less like Pete Davidson and more like an un-cool, less talented Megan Rapinoe. It could be worse! I also enjoyed his insistence of using basketball as the medium with which he announced his bleach job, although he immediately donned his hoodie while dunking on his aggressively low hoop.

Unfortunately, my goodwill for this new chapter in Bieber’s life as a married, former pop star begins and ends with the haircut. The shirt is aggressively dirt-baggy, and sweatpants stopped being trendy when celebrities like Bieber began rebranding Champion gear as $300 luxury streetwear. I’m also bored by the Nike sneakers, and his shameless attempt to advertise his clothing label via his bodyguard, lurking in the background of shots sporting a Drew House hoodie.

Curiously, new wife Hailey Bieber was nowhere to be seen at the excursion. Considering she usually glues herself to Bieber during any and all outings, I wonder if her absence is related to the timing of this new ‘do just hours before the AMAs, where ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez allegedly suffered an anxiety attack while warbling through a song about him. Smells like a crisis!