Johns Hopkins Student Paper Would Like Women To Know How Fat And Terrible They Are (Updated)
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The editors of the Johns Hopkins News-Letter apparently decided it would be a great idea to start the school year by celebrating misogyny and sexism, posting two heinous articles that center around drinking and “fat chicks.”
The first piece, the charmingly titled “Local Bison Bear All At Psi Kappa Psi’s Annual Lingerave,” was posted in the Opinion section by Managing Editor Greg Sgammato, who apparently thought it would be a great move for his personal journalism career to share his thoughts on “fat chicks” and how they “systematically befriend hot chicks” in order to gain entrance to frat parties, a total bummer for Sgammato, who believes the presence of “fat chicks” at a lingerie-themed frat party, particularly those who dare to have the self-confidence to show their bodies off (which he attributes to alcohol), is, perhaps, a tragedy the likes of which the world has never seen:
In any case, fat chicks and hot chicks often go hand-in-hand. When they travel together to a frat party, those brothers working the door are forced to let the elephants inside; to refuse them would be incurring the wrath of their hot friends. And once inside, the damage has already been done. It’s only a matter of time until the mammoths monopolize the space on the dance floor.
In the future, one can think of at least one alteration to make; indeed, perhaps advertising a party as a “Lingerave” will bring about more bad than good. While seeing a hot chick in only her underwear is undoubtedly a treat, seeing a blimp without the welcome shield of clothing is a much worse fate for everyone at the party. A seasoned veteran should have the confidence to wait until the bedroom to see his girl without clothing; don’t subject the majority to the tyranny of the – funnily enough – enormous minority.
In a matter of minutes, the girl whose leggings expose a glimpse into the darker side of humanity will equate herself to Megan Fox. She – though ‘it’ may be more appropriate – will flaunt it like she’s got it, when in fact she never had it and probably never will. She will transcend ‘sloppy’ and become a force to be reckoned with, an 8-on-the-Richter-Scale Neuroscience major with no test on Monday, a full fridge and an empty bed.
Sgammato ends his piece by suggesting that his fellow bros deal with “wildebeests” by getting “obliterated.” Classy! And just in case you missed the overwhelming amount of misogyny in the piece, here’s a list of words Sgammato uses to describe women within the span of two pages:
- “bison”
- “elephants”
- “mammoths”
- “livestock”
- “grenades”
- “buffalo”
- “hippo”
- “blimp”
- “it” (you know, because she’s not an actual human being)
- “wildebeest”
Charming, no? I’m sure his fellow students, the entire faculty and staff of Johns Hopkins University, and all of its alumni donors are all very proud. (In fact, several alums have already chimed in in the comments of Sgammato’s piece, expressing their disgust.)