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Joaquin Phoenix Bothers To Apologize To David Letterman

Illustration for article titled Joaquin Phoenix Bothers To Apologize To David Letterman

On last night's Late Show, a clean-shaven Joaquin addressed his bizarre appearance in 2009—as an elaborate hoax for a mockumentary—saying, "I assumed that you would know the difference between a character and a real person…but I apologize." [CBS]


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I like how his apology is one of those veiled insults. I'm sorry you where too dumb to realize I was playing a character.

Good rule of thumb, if your apology ends with "but I apologize" it's probably not an apology.

Wrong way to apologize:

I assumed that you guys would keep little Timmy out of my yard considering you know I have a large well on my property, but I apologize.

Right way to apologize:

I'm sorry little Timmy fell in my well, I should keep it covered.