Jezebel Investigates: Would You Drink Your Sister's Breast Milk Like Tia and Tamera Mowery? 

The bond between sisters is one of the most special—and most infuriating—bonds there is. I have three sisters and I love and hate them equally, and with passion, every moment of every day. On even their worst days, when I am filled with rage such that I want to throw one of them under a bus, I would gladly throw myself under a bus in their stead—that is how strong my love is. I would not, however, drink their breast milk, like Tamera Mowry did her sister, Tia’s, as reported here, by CBS News.

Tamera was apparently “sicky-poo,” per her sister, Tia, so she sent her some of her breast milk for consumption, citing an article touting the “healing properties” of breast milk. “Oh my gosh, Tia. This is amazing,” Tamera says. “Your breast milk is the best milk I’ve ever tried in my life.”

I’m not sure how many other people’s breast milk Tamera has tried—her own, I presume; her sister’s, I know for sure; maybe some others—but that is neither here nor there. What I’d love to interrogate further is whether or not the bonds of sisterly love extends to this act of caregiving. Perhaps it’s a twin thing that I will never understand. Working with this theory, I contacted Deadspin’s Laura Wagner, who happens to be a twin herself. “As a twin, I think it’s weird,” she said. Fair enough. It was time to ask my sisters the most important question I have ever asked them in their entire lives.

As previously stated, I would do a lot for my sisters even though I often speak at length about how much I dislike them; I still do not think I would consume their breast milk, even if it would cure my walking pneumonia, but that is a personal choice that I’ve made. Would my sisters be willing to drink my breast milk, if it were a thing that was available and that could possibly make them feel better? My guess was probably not, but hey, it never hurts to check.

When consulted via the group text, two of my three sisters answered my request for comment, “Ew. Nah,” one sister replied. “I won’t feel left out of trying something new.” Another sister was more to the point: “You can keep that bruh, thank you.” The third sister, whose official comment is missing from this very important blog, declined to issue an on-the-record statement, but I will interpret her silence as tacit agreement.

We may disagree on literally everything else, but I feel great relief that I will never be faced with a mug of my sister’s breast milk. I imagine the feeling is mutual.