JEZEBEL EXCLUSIVE: They’re Talking About the Olympics’ Opening Ceremony, Not the Store

Buongiorno, as they say in those Elena Ferrante novels that I’m only finally reading because I guess I didn’t love myself in the 2010s. It’s time for an Olympics update!

• Whenever anyone tweeted about the “opening ceremony” on Friday, I thought they were talking about that store in Manhattan that I’ve almost bought something at twice but ultimately did not. But they weren’t! They were talking about the Olympics.
• Naomi Osaka lit the Olympic cauldron at the opening ceremony (the event, not the store) on Friday, which she later said was “undoubtedly the greatest athletic achievement and honor I will ever have in my life.” [Yahoo! Sports]
• Basically no one was there to clap for her, though! Attendance was limited to fewer than 1,000 dignitaries and other invited guests—in other words, no fans!!—due to covid concerns. [The New York Times]
• There were tons of protesters outside the stadium, however, chanting things like “Go to Hell IOC!” and “Cancel the Olympics!” because of how fucking deranged it is to hold a gigantic international sporting event amidst a global pandemic in a country where fewer than 10% of the population is fully vaccinated against the virus!! [CBS Sports]
• Speaking of which, more than 70 people somehow associated with the Olympics—athletes, staff, organizers, workers—have tested positive for covid-19 since the start of July. [Associated Press]
• And this British pole vaulter, Harry Coppell, knocked out one of his front teeth while training on Wednesday!! How it happened is that he went up and over the bar and flopped on the mat below, then the pole from which he vaulted was like “good idea” and flopped down on his face. [E! News]
• Eleven gold medals were awarded on Saturday (time differences, etc.). Three went to China (Fencing, Women’s Epee Individual; Shooting, Women’s 10m Air Pistol; Weightlifting, Women’s 49kg), and one went to South Korea (Archery, Mixed Team), Ecuador (Cycling, Men’s Road Race), Hungary (Fencing, Men’s Sabre Individual), Kosovo (Judo, Women’s -48kg), Japan (Judo, Men’s -60kg), Iran (Shooting, Men’s 10m Air Pistol), Thailand (Taekwondo, Women’s -49kg), and Italy (Taekwondo (Men’s -58kg). [CNN]
• I haven’t actually watched any of it myself, but I did see the first episode of White Lotus, which was bad. [House of Worms]