Jersey Shore Finale: Snooki, We Hardly Knew Ye

Last night’s finale was sad, because although season two has been confirmed, it’s unclear if the original cast will return. Hopefully they will, because the audience has developed a relationship with them that’s as solid and gelled as Pauly’s hair.

But wherever Snooki winds up—whether on our TV sets or merely in our hearts—there’s no doubt that she’ll be dancing, even if she’s alone.

And the hope is that while she’s “Snookin’ for love,” she’ll find peace and a “gorilla” in the midst of whatever nightclub she’s doing back flips in.

Pauly got “fuckin’ deep” when describing his bond with Vinny and The Situation. Friendships are like tans: They’ll never fade as long as you keep working on them. GTL for life.

It was sweet to see Sitch cheering Snooki up, saying she’s like his “little sister.”

And it was equally slimy to see him remove his “little sister’s” clothing and then make out with her. But that’s kind of Sitch in a nutshell: sweet and slimy. He’s like yogurt. Except without the health benefits to your vagina.

I would like to say that I second the emotion: “I want this thing forever. This right here.”