Usually, I am against any whiff of Cool Girl™ in a celebrity interview as well as the nonsense “lazy girl” label lady news outlets love to put on everything from ponytails to simple meal preparation. But I’m going to make a single, one-time exception for Jennifer Lawrence’s insistence that she’s too “lazy” to become overly stressed about her wedding because I also would feel suddenly very drowsy were I tasked with planning a party for everyone I’ve ever met.
I will quibble with her use of the word “lazy” when what she most likely means is “decisive” and “wealthy enough to throw money at the boring task” when she insisted in a recent interview, “I haven’t been neurotic about [the wedding]. I’m like too lazy to be neurotic. I saw a dress I liked and I was like, ‘That’s the dress.’ I saw a venue and I was like, ‘Cool, we got a venue.’”
She also said her only “bridezilla” (a term I also loathe) moment came when she found out friends were too busy to attend a last-minute bachelorette party. Again, I’m going to allow it as I too have cried at the prospect of friends’ unavailability to get drunk with me.
Speaking of bachelorettes, is every boring man on this season of The Bachelorette wearing the same salmon-colored jacket or do they all own the same jacket? Many of the contestants have been spotting wearing identical blazers, though I’m pretty sure I’ve seen two of them wearing it simultaneously but can’t entirely remember because I invented a Bachelorette drinking game that is “guzzle wine every time a situation becomes too awkward to look at.”
Jed, the incessantly warbling contestant who absolutely brings his guitar along to every single party he attends, has already penned a song about the pink blazer mystery: “It’s floating around like ghost in the wind / Every rose ceremony it’s back again / You never really know who might have to have it / That’s the mystery of the salmon jacket.”
Poor Hannah had to pack roughly 40,000 pairs of earrings and at least three moto jackets (that we’ve seen so far) for this season while these dudes may have devised a lazy boy hack for packing reality television costumes.
- Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk reportedly split because “the romance changed to more of a partnership.” Isn’t that what the relationship instruction manuals say it’s supposed to do? [People]
- Bow Wow may have pocketed the singles intended for dancers at a strip club, according to 50 Cent, which, if true, is very shitty. [Complex]