Jennifer Lawrence Is Off to Milk Goats, Possibly

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

Though Jennifer Lawrence speaks our language–farts and poop–with the glossary of gastrointestinal terms she’s brought to late night television, she is also adroit–more than you–in the art of acting. Sorry.


A new Elle interview entirely excluding mention of pee and buttplugs reveals that Jennifer Lawrence has been in this business since she was 14, with roles in various sitcoms and films long before Winter’s Bone. Meet Jennifer Lawrence the savant, praised by directors like ex-boyfriend Darren Aronofsky and Jodie Foster who praises her “meaningful stillness.”

“Her eyes say more in silence,” says writer/director David O. Russell, “than many actors can say in a lifetime.”

Who is this shape-shifter, Jennifer Lawrence who dates genius; J-Law who intoxicates Kardashian-Jenners; Jen who speaks for the citizenry via stopping political corruption in America and crapping her pants?

At heart, a farmer, she says. She’s taking some time off to possibly buy a farm and “be, like, milking goats.”

Separately, Kim Kardashian has given her blessing for Jennifer Lawrence to play her in her biopic.


Aladdin turned 25 years old yesterday, which means that I will spend the night with a shovel in the Cave of Wonders my mom’s basement seeking the VHS tape, while every family member shares conflicting opinions about whatever happened to that. Scott Weinger of Full House, the original voice of Aladdin, shared this Instagram post with Jasmine, Linda Larkin, to mark the occasion.

On the basis of nothing, Prince Harry could announce his engagement to Meghan Markle on TUESDAY, according to the Daily Mail. That day is when a Cabinet meeting takes place in London which would be “the perfect opportunity” for Theresa May to “inform her Ministers” so that they can get on with it and we can talk about what Rowan Atkinson will be wearinggggg!!!!!!


  • Since Kim Kardashian West was robbed at gunpoint, she was bequeathed a ton of healing crystals. [Elle]
  • TMZ reports that singer Jaime Ciero is suing Disney, Idina Menzel, and Demi Lovato, claiming that “Let It Go” from Frozen rips off his international success “Volar,” which has over a million views on YouTube. The sounds are similar. The videos are very, very different. [TMZ]
  • Milquetoast Margot Robbie interview. [Vogue Australia]
  • FLOTUS’s Twitter feed promises more content like this deeply satisfying video of Trumps saddled to the wretched chore of approving the Christmas tree. [Twitter]

Staff reporter, Gizmodo. wkimball @ gizmodo



Evert time I am around goats I leave with the feeling, “I need to be around goats all the time!” and start daydreaming of baby goats and wearing rubber boots. If I had J Law’s money I sure as hell would take some time off to raise goats!