Jennifer Aniston would like you to please stop talking about her womb.
If you follow the media personas of major celebrities who have been in the spotlight for decades and decades, you start to notice something. They start out in their early days as people who are hyper-obsessed with every microscopic nuance of their public image (especially what they say in interviews or what is printed about them). Then, as they gradually get more and more used to the idea of fame and all the shit that comes with it, a funny thing happens—they stop giving an actual fuck. I call it the Penny Marshall effect. She gives ZERO FUCKS about what anyone says or thinks about them because after surviving as long as she has in Hollywood, she is finally comfortable with telling everyone to just kiss her ass and have a nice day.
Aniston (who stars in the new movie Cake) is inching ever-closer to the Penny Marshall zone. In another ten years, I expect her to roll her eyes and tell people who ask dumb questions about her uterus to go jump off a bridge. In an interview with Allure, Aniston addressed the tabloid media's weird obsession with constantly talking about if/when a living creature will soon gestate in her womb:
"I don't like [the pressure] that people put on me, on women—that you've failed yourself as a female because you haven't procreated. I don't think it's fair. You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn't mean you aren't mothering—dogs, friends, friends' children." Aniston has reason to have thought these issues through. "This continually is said about me: that I was so career-driven and focused on myself; that I don't want to be a mother, and how selfish that is."
And since she is an actual human being, it is hard to constantly hear criticism about her life choices. "Even saying it gets me a little tight in my throat," she said.
Aniston also shared her thoughts on feminism:
When asked why the word "feminism" is so complicated, Aniston is direct: "Because people overcomplicate it. It's simply believing in equality between men and women. Pretty basic."
Hey, that's what I keep saying!
Kim Kardashian has answered the most pressing, divisive question of our time: Why did she crop her baby North West out of a photo on Instagram? Well, the historians can add another statement of truth answering from our glorious leader to their archives:
"Wait is this really news that I posted a selfie & cropped my daughter out? LOL,"Kim posted on Twitter. "Her eyes were closed and I was feeling my look! Can I live?!?!
She was "feeling" her look, OK? CAN SHE JUST LIVE, GODDAMMIT?
Upon seeing the portrait her mother had selected to unveil at the royal gala, North West gazed upon it, her eyes narrowing as she felt a deep, seething resentment boil within her. "Soon, mother," she whispered under her breath.
Don't worry, Mama June is NOT doing a sex tape for Vivid. [TMZ]
Igloo Australia's ex-boyfriend really, really screwed her over, she says. [Mirror]
Here are a bunch of spoiler-y details about how Paul Feig envisions the all-lady Ghostbusters to be. [Vulture]
He Of the Piercing Eyes Jonathan Rhys Meyers is getting married to film producer Mara Lane. [Hollywood Life]
ARIANA GRANDE BABY CARRYING-GATE UPDATE. This photo from Grande's Instagram feed is not of Grande being carried like an actual baby but it does appear that she is resting on her back MUCH LIKE BABIES ARE KNOWN TO DO. I believe we've blown the whole thing wide open here. [Instagram]
Hailey Baldwin is safe from the nightmare of dating Justin Bieber. [E]
Julianne Moore really, really liked Kristen Stewart. [Just Jared]
Beyoncé SUED! ::cries and faints:: [Perez Hilton]
On this date in 1984, Madonna topped the charts with "Like a Virgin." In other related news, I am fucking 100 billion years old. [Billboard]
When you literally remember the day this debuted on MTV because your mom had to drive you to your friend Sarah's house so you could watch it because you didn't have cable yet:
Image via Getty.