Photo: Micheal Thompson (InStyle)

There is an entire industry that sustains itself on asking how Jennifer Aniston is doing. It invents fictional experiences that she suffers through, like pregnancies with ex Brad Pitt or steamy revenge sex with dive bar owner ex Justin Theroux. Entire forests have been chopped down to print the paper required to investigate the many threads of this question! But... Jennifer Aniston is fine. She’s fine! She’s absolutely fine. And if you had any concerns over just how fine she is doing? She’ll tell you herself: “I’m fine!”

Speaking to InStyle, the water bottle spokeswoman shared everything you’d expect from a celebrity interview in the run-up to a major television premiere (Apple+’s The Morning Show), but mostly that she’s doing fine. Here she reflects on the rapid forward progression of time and its unending war with our bodies. But instead of defaulting to nihilism, as is common in her industry—she’s reveals she’s actually fine!

“Fifty was the first time I thought, ‘Well, that number. I don’t know what it is because I don’t feel any different. Things aren’t shutting down in any way. I feel physically incredible. So it’s weird that it’s all of a sudden getting telegraphed in a way that’s like, ‘You look amazing for your age.’ I think we need to establish some etiquette around that dialogue and verbiage.”

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Not only is she fine, she’s actually quite powerful too! And in case you still do not believe she’s fine, or understand her newfound power, she tackles the bias that is likely keeping you from accepting both: “Women were never allowed to have power. Power feels sexy to me today, as does women’s intelligence and how capable and creative they are.”

What else? She reveals that in middle school, she would cut hair for $10 until her father informed her as an adult that she was terrible at it. (She’s fine, though.) Diane Sawyer was her inspiration for The Morning Show. Her biggest regret is not wearing more sunscreen. There’s also the claim that her grandmother, who was also fine, used to rub bottles of olive oil over her skin to keep it healthy. (“[She] had the most stunningly soft, gorgeous skin.”) When InStyle asks the completely normal question, “Would you like to live to 98?” Aniston responds, “As long as I’m thriving.” It’s a poignant reminder that although she might be fine, there is always room to thrive. (But with a bouffant this big, you’d think she’d be thriving now!) [InStyle]

Photo: InStyle

How would you describe your divorced friends? I don’t have any (yet), and so I’m unsure of People’s description of Adele as “perky as hell.” It certainly sounds like something I’d hear a person say in Los Angeles, although the adjective is often employed in relation to someone’s nipples. Regardless! Multiple sources claim that the singer is living her best life with son Angelo, who she successfully co-parents with ex-husband Simon Konecki. People also reports:

Multiple sources tell PEOPLE the superstar — who announced her separation from longtime love Simon Konecki in the spring — is ready to release new songs sooner than later. “She is definitely getting ready both mentally and physically to promote new music. It seems it will happen later this year,” says one source close to the 31-year-old singer. “She talks about last year as a very difficult year, and she’s said in the past that creating new music is almost like therapy. You can tell that she is ready to share with her fans.”

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I didn’t know that Adele moving to Los Angeles to making art about divorced 30-somethings would affect me like this, but here we are! It’s just like that Stevie Nicks song: Time makes you bolder... children get older... and I’m getting older too. I wonder what the mirror in the sky has in store for Adele, the pop music industry, myself, and even all of you! [People]


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