Are rich people afraid of getting robbed? It’s a question I found myself asking while being tormented by a video of occasional super-villain Jeffree Star and his bumbling sidekick Shane Dawson giving a tour of Star’s new evil lair, which he describes as a “castle.” There are so many expensive things inside. Showing them off on camera is practically begging someone to steal it all!
In a recently uploaded clip, the often racist “makeup mogul” explained that when he quit his singing career, he had only $500 to his name. It’s a fact that falls mostly flat, considering that when he says it, the house he is standing in front of is larger than any Los Angeles block. Dawson, just happy to be included, smiles and nods. The perfect henchman!
The house features, among other things: a brooding lounge that looks like the cheap set for an orgy scene in a terrible sci-fi flick; an arcade; and a garage bigger than any house I’ve ever lived in, with luxury cars worth more than anyone I know will make in their lifetime. There’s a wine cellar that looks perfect for a billionaire contemplating white-collar crime, twisting staircases fit for a murder mystery, and some pretty gauche window treatments and chandeliers.
If it sounds ostentatious, it’s because it is. But mostly, the home tour left me underwhelmed. You’d expect that someone as committed to sowing the seeds of discord and chaos across the internet would have something more interesting to look at in their home than some Tuscan-blend furniture from 2007 and gaudy crystal chandeliers. It’s an excellent reminder that extreme wealth, among other things, can lead to extremely tacky taste—not that Star needed any help with that. This house is ugly—everyone knows it’s ugly! And even though living in an ugly house does not mitigate the many, many (racist) internet crimes Star did to get there, maybe there’s some cosmic humor in it. As we speak, he’s probably feeding his dogs Drama, Diva, Delicious, and Da Vinci some Taco Bell from a black marble countertop, talking to a camera full of fans about his latest wig choice and Birkin bag purchase. I couldn’t imagine a worse fate! [People]
Here’s some more breaking Youtube news: Tana Mongeau and Jake Paul are “taking a break” after “five months of marriage.” Who could have expected this! As previously reported, on Monday Mongeau released a dull, crying-in-bed video about the state of her relationship with Paul—it’s OK until it isn’t, they fake it until they don’t, the open-ness of their sex life was fine until it wasn’t, the public perception of them was cool until they couldn’t take it. And, perhaps most importantly, she said she felt pressured to be the “cool girl,” a monologue usually precipitated by an elaborate murder mystery revenge plot.
Anyway, dueling Instagram posts were unleashed by the chaos merchants last night, featuring them in bed with a dog, and mostly sane looks on their faces.
While Mongeau chose the melancholic, caps-lock-off route for her post—a text-format popularized by Ariana Grande fans posting self-care routines—Paul played his caption off like a joke, which feels perfectly in line with my general sense of his personality type. The two seem to agree, however, that it is best to go their separate ways for the time being. Whether they will still film together, live in the same house, or feed their massive popularity with further clickbait videos about their marriage, is uncertain (but likely!). The entire ordeal feels, as Paul once said when posing with his Teen Choice Award, “sus as fuck.” [ET]
Here is an generally “ok” photo of some strangers snapped by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle while on a New Year’s Day hike.