It is the Deadspin awards tonight. Did you know?
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Want a silver lining to the cloud of shit that has been politics in 2018? Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions might be done with politics for good! Politico reports that as Sessions left the funeral of George H.W. Bush this afternoon, a reporter asked him if he misses the Senate, where he represented Alabama for 20 years. “No. I mean, no,” replied Sessions. “I could go back and spend time in the woods. I’ve got 10 grandchildren, oldest is 11.”And regarding a potential run against vulnerable incumbent Alabama Democratic Senator Doug Jones, Sessions would prefer to just chill at the moment. “I’ve been clearing my brain,” Sessions said. “I think that’s a fair statement. I’ll go to Alabama, do some things and then that will clarify things a little more before I worry about making a statement.” One less racist in the Senate sounds good enough to me. Jeff Sessions, retire, bitch! [Politico]
- Hey remember last night when we found out that Michael Flynn definitely sang like a fucking canary to Special Counsel Robert Mueller? Yeah, here’s more on that. [Washington Post]
- American troops will remain stationed at the U.S.-Mexico border until the end of the year in what the Trump administration sees as additional line of defense against desperate asylum-seekers. [New York Times]
- The Environmental Protection Agency is stripping an Obama era coal-plant restriction in the hopes of making it possible to open up new coat plants. This, of course, disregards literally every trend indicating coal’s steady decline and how it is basically poison for people and the planet. [Axios]
- Michelle Obama spoke about imposter syndrome and suffering from self-doubt during a recent stop on her book tour. She also offered a little advice to all the women out there: “I have been at probably every powerful table that you can think of, I have worked at nonprofits, I have been at foundations, I have worked in corporations, served on corporate boards, I have been at G-summits, I have sat in at the U.N.: They are not that smart.” Fuckin’ preach. [Newsweek]
- Uh, we have another potential Russian agent outchea? [The Daily Beast]
- Here’s the story behind Rudy Giuliani’s assertion that Twitter edited his tweet with anti-Trump propaganda (they didn’t). [New York Times]
- Deval Patrick isn’t running for president. Which, I mean, okay! [Politico]
- But here’s who probably is running: Michael fucking Bloomberg. [The Hill]
- And, uh, Andrew Gillum and Beto O’Rourke are hanging with Obama, which the media assumes means they might run in 2020 too? Can we all just… chill the fuck out, please? [CNN/Washington Post]
- Sean Spicer! Took! His first Lyft!
- Wow……… RIP.
Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.
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