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Jason Derulo Would Like Everyone to Know That His Dick Really Is That Big

Illustration for article titled Jason Derulo Would Like Everyone to Know That His Dick Really Is That Big

Jason Derulo, who is sometimes a cat and sometimes a non-cat who posts thirst traps on Instagram, would like everyone to know his dick is as big as it appears in said thirst traps. Please, do not suggest otherwise.


Indeed, last week Derulo posted a photo of himself in Bali in a spandex bathing suit that left little to the imagination, and was the only thing in the photo that could in fact be classified as little. Allegedly, some rumors abounded over whether or not the Instagram was ‘shopped, but in an interview with TMZ over the weekend, Derulo made it clear that the dick was all his.

From People:

“Photoshop?! Photoshop?! Man don’t make me —,” he joked. “Hey, there’s not enough women in this area.”

He added: “Just know … us Haitians, we look different.”

So, there you have it—the definitive word on Derulo’s dick, per Derulo. And here is the definitive image, should you need a reminder:


Congratulations all around. [People]

Selena Gomez continues to get inked without me, despite my repeated requests for matching best friendship tattoos. I am livid.

Here is the tattoo, which she showed off after the AMAs on Sunday. In fairness, it is quite good.


All this is to say, I am still available for best friendship tattoos, and am open to any and all inquiries. [Us Weekly]

  • OK, Kim. [Us Weekly]
  • Really hope Hoda Kotb is getting her monster engagement ring insured! [Page Six]
  • It sounds like Will Smith is at least trying? [People]
  • Hm, yes, everything about this Justin Timberlake/Alisha Wainwright story sounds perfectly innocent, yes. [Us Weekly]


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Damone's Five-Point Plan

us Haitians, we look different.

How, exactly? Is it no testicles? A high navel? Duck feet?