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Jason Derulo Will Not Allow His Dick to be Censored!

Illustration for article titled Jason Derulo Will Not Allow His Dick to be Censored!
Image: Image of Jason Deruo

If you are a person who exists on the internet, chances are at some point in the last couple of weeks you’ve come across a picture of Jason Derulo, on vacation in Bali, parading his dick print all over Instagram. Was this an obvious ploy to distract us from the interview where he told us about cat school? Who can say. Did it work if it was? Absolutely.

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Regardless of the picture’s intention, after catching the eye of pretty much everyone who has a phone, it seems like Instagram is finally paying attention. In their continuing crusade to remove any and all joy that might exist on their platform, today they decided to remove Derulo’s “Bali pic” as he refers to it, citing a violation of their “Community Guidelines.” Boo! we say, boo!

In attempting to pull together a case for reposting his Bali (dick) pic, Derulo took to his Instagram story to say, “Hey, listen, all these girls showing their a*$ and all kinds of crazy s*%t and I have underwear on in Bali and they took my pic down. It’s discrimination. Like, I understand, I can’t help my size, but you can’t take down my pic.”

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Now, Jason, as glad as I am to have your pic back up on Instagram, if you’re going to drag the women of Instagram into this, please make sure you’re advocating for them too. Especially when Instagram’s policies disproportionately discriminate against women; women of color, disabled women, trans women, and fat women particularly.

And hey, if they take it down again maybe you can chat with the Cats CGI team to see if it’s too late to ensure your Rum Tum Tugger has an anatomically correct, well, rum tum tugger. [E! News]


While Armie Hammer’s character Oliver from Call Me by Your Name might not have eaten a jizz filled peach, real life Armie Hammer did suck milk straight from a goat’s udder, so at least that’s something right?

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On Tuesday night’s episode of Running Wild with Bear Grylls, Bear Grylls, who is apparently still alive and on television against all odds, invites Hammer to suckle at the teat of a wild goat and taste the majesty of fresh milk. Which, inexplicably, Hammer does with only mild trepidation.

In what sounds like footage from an extended version of Call Me by Your Name that I would very much like to see, Grylls explains how to suck milk from a udder to Hammer, “So if you just get your lips around its nipples and then just…,” Soon after, Hammer does in fact get his lips around the nipple to drink, exclaiming “I did it! I carpe’d the diem, like it’s done. I just squirted the freshest milk I’ve ever had in my life in my mouth.”

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What it all means, I don’t know exactly, but I will be watching the clip several more times before the week’s end. [People]


  • Chris Pratt is selling fitness equipment on Amazon to which we say, please stop immediately. [People]
  • Jennifer Lopez is thinking about having another kid, which just seems exhausting to be honest. [People]
  • Caitlyn Jenner and Khloé Kardashian don’t really talk anymore, so, there’s that. [People]

freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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DISCUSSION

“I can’t help my size, but you can’t take down my pic.”

Nice humble brag-defense there, but you ain’t that big. It was fine, but let’s not get a big head about it.

Also, is anyone surprised by ArmHam’s willingness to do this?  The man is kinky and likes letting us know that.