And lo, the culture presents a boon for those of you skipping Black Thursday madness: Jane Lynch and Hillary Swank will be co-hosting Fox's Cause For Paws: An All-Star Dog Spectacular. It's a telethon for dogs, basically. Perfect Thanksgiving-evening fodder.
The revamped, two-hour special celebrating rescue dogs will allow viewers at home to donate to the Petfinder Foundation and adopt and foster dogs in need. It will feature viral videos starring rescue dogs and an awards segment, which, for example, will hand out the "Shelter Hero of the Year" Award.
Additional celebrity guests include Kristin Chenoweth, Kathy Griffin, Cesar Millan, mother and daughter Osbourne and Emmy Rossum. (Previously announced guests include Scarlett Johansson, Miranda Lambert and Kristen Bell.)
There is literally no way your family can turn this into an argument about politics or cousin Susie's new piercing, so just go with it.
And don't forget that the National Dog Show airs on Thanksgiving as well, starting at noon. You have hours and hours of lazy dog-watching ahead—provided you resist the lures of the local Target.
Photo via Getty.