Image: AP

This, my dear friends, is why Giambattista Valli is the absolute king of the red carpet: he can craft a princess fantasy of a gown and then freak it, reminding us via a subversive silhouette and neon fabric that monarchs are bullshit and it’s about your individual dreams alone.

Jennifer Lopez is never not looking great, hello, but as far as I’m concerned this is Valli’s moment, reminiscent as it is of his epoch-defining look for Rihanna at the 2015 Grammys. Look, I’ve never tried draping tulle beyond a few failed DIY art projects in the ’90s, but I’m assuming it is “hard,” and Valli’s level of skill is unfuckwithable. Also, I still can’t figure out what Second Act is about, but assuming it is J. Lo’s first star turn as a superhero, it’s cool that he gave her a cape:

If I ever become rich (LOL) or even in the privileged position to borrow one of these shitses, forget it. Valli is the designer who comes to me in my dreams.

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