It Would Appear That Rudy Giuliani Is Going to Live

Illustration for article titled It Would Appear That Rudy Giuliani Is Going to Live
Image: Rey Del Rio (Getty Images)

Rudolph Giuliani, the man you may recognize as the hair dye sweating goon currently collecting $20,000 a day to indulge Donald Trump’s delusions and stall American democracy, is in all likelihood not going to die of coronavirus, unlike the 290,000 Americans and counting that his boss killed.


Instead, he is being sent home from a hospital that most of us could not get a bed in (seeing as hospitals nationwide are currently overwhelmed by the pandemic) with a little doggie bag full of pills the rest of us could never afford and would probably not have access to in the event we could afford them. Rudy says the physician who prevented Donald Trump from dying of coronavirus sent him to the Georgetown University Hospital and got him access to the magical drug cocktail denied to 99.9 percent of the 15.5 million Americas who have had coronavirus:

“His doctor sent me here; he talked me into it,” Giuliani said of the president in an interview with a local New York radio station. “The minute I took the cocktail yesterday, I felt 100% better. It works very quickly, wow.”

Couldn’t have been wasted on a more useless person, except for that time in early October when we wasted the meds on President Covidina. [The Guardian]

In the wake of the police murder of George Floyd, the Minneapolis City Council will shift $8 million dollars away from the $179 million police budget to an assortment of city services, which is not “defunding the police” as much as it is “funding services that benefit citizens.” This is a compromise from the City Council’s previous plan—announced over the summer as Minneapolis citizens and others across the country protested Floyd’s murder—which would have replaced the city’s police department with a “Department of Community Safety and Violence Prevention.”

As the violent crime rate has risen in the wake of the Floyd murder and protests, the size of the city’s police department has shrunk, leaving the mayor threatening to veto the city council’s plan entirely, though he praised the council for backing off a complete overhaul, the Washington Post reports:

“But in a statement early Thursday, Frey praised the council for removing language that would have permanently shrunk the size of the force by about 130 officers in what he described as a ‘defining moment for our city.’”


The $8 million will go toward funding “mental health teams, violence prevention programs and other initiatives,” according to KARE11 Minneapolis. [KARE11, The Washington Post]

  • Child Protective Services unfairly targets and terrorizes BIPOC families. [Mother Jones]
  • Here are 106 House members who support Texas in being wrong. [Twitter]
  • That’s Professor Second Gentleman, Esquire to you. [Politico]
  • The man who will not be President very soon would like all foreign aid to have a little “To: (Country’s Name) From: America” gift tag on it. [The Hill]
  • The Inspector General said the V.A. did a shit job at handling a sexual assault complaint because that is true. [The New York Times]
  • The FDA is voting on the Pfizer vaccine that I very much would like to put inside my body. [Washington Post]
  • Biden is thinking about putting a competent person in a position of authority, which, wow, I had forgotten what it’s like to look at a possible new appointee and not have to write a bullet that reads “President considers random wolf to head Department of Sheep’s Affairs.” [Washington Post]


The Ghost of James Madison's Rage Boner

So, all the opposition briefs have been filed in the Texas petition, which means the Supreme Court order dismissing the case should come some time tomorrow.

There were bunch of amici briefs filed, but I was only able to get through a few of them before getting a headache. What’s notable:

Some group from (of course) Florida called the Christian Family Coalition filed a brief that deserves Rule 11 sanctions and frankly investigation by the Florida Bar for knowingly filing a false document with the court. Take a look at this:

Section 2, of course, says nothing of the sort, and that insertion of [only] materially changes the meaning.

Also, think about what they’re saying: I don’t think any state finished all of its counting on Election Day, including Florida. This is as bad-faith a pleading as I’ve ever seen.

Several other nutjobs emerged from under various rocks to file their own briefs that I refuse to read in full, since most of them look like this:

That’s not even close to the most bonkers one, though. That prize goes to this . . . um, thing from the Thomas More Law Society that, well, read it:

Yes, you read that correctly. Unless all the state legislatures conduct a post-election certification, something that has never been done, the whole election is invalid.

Finally, I’ll note that the brief filed by 106 GOP members of the House, includes about 14 members from the defendant states arguing that their own elections are invalid. So maybe Pelosi should refuse to seat them until a House select committee can get to the bottom of things, oh, some time in 2022.


Outside of the Texas case, there was another hearing in Wisconsin that likely won’t go anywhere. Thread on it here.

The opposition briefs are well-done and easy to read if you care to. You can find everything here.