It Was a Marble Table, Not Cocaine

In Tuesday night’s Dirt Bag, you learned that Kim Kardashian was in something resembling hot water (perfectly drawn bath water?) after people noticed what looked like two lines of cocaine in the background of one of her Snapchats. Because she doesn’t “play with rumors” like that, Kardashian immediately explained away the questionable lines on Twitter.


As a former Dylan’s Candy Bar addict who has dirtied countless tables with sugar from my candy mess, I believed her explanation immediately. Unfortunately, many haters (including MSNBC’s Chris Hayes) refused to quit raising their eyebrows.

Fortunately for Kim (because she had proof that she didn’t leave piles of cocaine around her children) and for us (because we no longer have to read about this story), Kardashian soon realized that those little lines in the background of her Snapchat story weren’t piles of cocaine or sugar. They were the naturally-occurring carbonate crystals found in marble.

In a video posted late last night to both her Snapchat and Instagram stories, Kardashian said:

“Okay you guys, I just got back to my hotel room. So we did go to Dylan’s Candy Shop, I did think it was our Pixie Stix, but after all that...this table in the background is a marble table you guys! Come on! ... I have kids, it’s just not my lifestyle.

Though I accepted this without hesitation, others weren’t so convinced.


She thought it was candy because candy is messy! GIVE HER A BREAK, CHRIS HAYES!!!



But let’s move to the more unpleasant side of the Kardashian family. Rob has reportedly apologized to the women who pay his bills for “slut shaming” the mother of his child, Blac Chyna, last week on Instagram.


TMZ reports he has “spoken with all of his sisters and his mom, telling them he has no excuse for posting nude pics of Chyna and her medical information on social media.” He also denied ever being violent with Chyna.

Interesting! But do you know who he hasn’t reportedly apologized to? The woman whose nude photos he plastered all over the internet.




Here is the best photographic evidence the world has that love exists.

[Us Weekly]

  • Kiefer Sutherland has had a girlfriend for a very long time and no one knew until recently. Page Six says it’s because they wanted to keep their relationship a secret. I say it’s because no one cared. [Page Six]
  • Guess who said it: “I found myself eye to eye with a surprised and angry mother protecting her baby. She raised her trunk and trumpeted a warning! If I had [big] ears, I would have flapped them back at her. We clapped our car doors . . . We were two moms willing to die to protect our babies.” [Page Six]
  • TMZ’s art department went all out on this story about Abby Lee Miller’s prison diet. [TMZ]
  • Minka Kelly and Jesse Williams are officially an item. [Page Six]
  • The couple that makes horrible instagram videos of themselves working out together, stays together. [Instagram]

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man



So, this has nothing to do with anything in DB (apologies in advance), but...I’m quitting drinking. I’ve been thinking about it for a few years, and it’s finally time to pull the plug on it. Nothing crazy has happened, but I’m just tired of my energy being sapped constantly, of bruising too easily, and of not being entirely present in my life (among many other things). So tonight when I get home, instead of pouring myself one, I’m going to dump out the little bit of alcohol that remains in the house and pour myself an ice tea instead.

I want to give a massive thank you to the person who recommended the subreddit ‘stop drinking’ on the post about Nelsan Ellis’s death the other day (sorry, can’t remember who!). The support there is amazing, and reading through it, I recognized so many stories similar to my own. I know it won’t be easy, but it’s something I have to do. Love to you all!