Sam Smith, the singer best known for those melancholy sounds that make you want to drive your car off a cliff when he comes on the radio, has just ignited a firestorm on Instagram. Yesterday, the singer posted a picture of what appears to be a naked woman’s behind. Or is it his behind? What’s going on in this photo?

Let’s take a look at the evidence:

Just Jared reports that the slightly NSFW work of filtered art is driving fans wild on Smith’s insta, with some telling Sam “this isn’t u” while others are suggesting that Smith is “horny.” Still others are coming up with workable theories of exactly what’s going on in the picture. Here’s the best conspiracy theory so far:

“The girls ‘butt’ are his knees, the girls ‘back’ are his legs, the ‘shoulders’ are his feet and the ‘hair’ the the space between his feet!!” the fan wrote.

My guess (and I am a butt expert), is that the actual butt is someone’s knees and that there are two people in the shower. But that raises another important question? No, not why Sam Smith is in the shower with another person (lots of reasons for that and it’s his business), but how big this shower must be to accommodate two people attempting to create a photographic illusion. That is a luxury shower. Screw the butt (no pun intended), I want to get the 411 on whether that thing has jets. (The shower, not the ass.)

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Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.

Image via Instagram