Is There a Person (Besides Obama) Who Can Make Joe Biden Exciting?

By Emily Alford  |  April 14, 2020 | 10:00pm
NewsPolitics
Is There a Person (Besides Obama) Who Can Make Joe Biden Exciting?
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If Veep has taught me anything about politics (and to be frank, Veep has taught me just about everything I know of politics), it’s that the vice-presidency seems very much like being very hungry on a road trip and having to stop at Denny’s—ultimately unsatisfying but better than nothing. In that vein, Joe Biden, too, is the Denny’s of Democratic nominees, no one really asked for him but he’s here and we’re already in motion, so we have to make do. However, now that we’ve already all resigned ourselves to the fact that we’re getting Denny’s, a new possibility arises: is there potentially something on the menu worth looking forward to?

According to the New York Times, Biden’s vice-presidential pick must be the pancakes of people, someone generally well-liked who can drum up at least a little enthusiasm even among the weariest of pilgrims. Biden’s running mate should particularly appeal to young, Latinx, and black voters all at once, as they are most likely to be put off by a purely Biden menu. Additionally, Biden has promised to choose a woman as his running mate (for obvious reasons), which further narrows the field. And finally, Biden needs to associate himself with someone people like even more than Obama (arguably the moons over hammy of people), since voters generally like Biden less than they liked Obama, despite the fact that he spent over eight years waving at the American people in proximity to the then-president.

For the Times, the human who ticks the most likability boxes is Stacey Abrams, the only candidate to outshine Obama’s performance in her home state Georgia among 18-29-year-olds in exit polls for the governorship election while also garnering strong support among Latinx voters and increasing voter turnout among black voters.

But the list of potential Biden running mates includes pretty much every living woman politician we’re heard of, probably alongside many we haven’t. If the previous stages of the Democratic primary are any indication, everyone will agree that the only compromise will be for no one to get the candidate that they want as the “Fuck It, Let’s Just Go to Denny’s” election of 2020 continues. [New York Times]

And now that we are pretty much down to a single option in the Democratic primary, former President Barack Obama has acknowledged that the white-haired man standing near him in all those photographs from 2008-2016 is now running for president and supports that run in lieu of the alternative. [New York Times]

  • Justin Amash has popped up to announce a potential presidential run as an independent, which is like seeing a Hardee’s sign pop up and wondering who the hell would stop there. [Washinton Post]
  • All the rich people in jail are asking to be let out of jail due to covid-19. [Politico]
  • Meanwhile, the number of child detainees who have contracted covid-19 while in Chicago shelters has doubled. [Politico]
  • COBRA, that laughably expensive healthcare option for out-of-work people, could potentially be getting an overhaul—but unless that overhaul includes no-cost medicine and medical attention, it will most likely still be too expensive for the overwhelming number of newly unemployed Americans. [Vox]
  • New York, Connecticut, and Vermont are asking the Supreme Court to suspend “wealth tests” for immigrants, as experts say they prevent people who are potentially sick from seeing treatment for covid-19 and increase the risk of contagion for everyone. [New York Times]
  • We should all consider burying our stimulus check in the backyard. [The American Prospect]
  • President Trump met with coronavirus survivors while simultaneously “joking” that they be kept away from him. [Washington Post]

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