Is Penis-Numbing Spray Right For You?

Illustration for article titled Is Penis-Numbing Spray Right For You?

If you're a man (or know a man) who can't get through breakfast without ejaculating into his (or your) Cheerios, there's a possible solution on the market. The very first FDA-approved penis-numbing spray is called Promescent — which just sounds like "prom scent", but whatever — and it promises to slow things down for that special sexual encounter. Using the main ingredient of lidocaine*, it desensitizes your man's wily wang and allows intercourse to carry on interminably. Yay?

The Cut's Josh Gondelman's took it for a test spin, and found that much like with Goldilocks and the three bears, figuring out the right dosage of penis-numbing spray was key.

He describes the Herculean task of masturbating on Promescent:

I then spent the ten-minute "waiting period" uncomfortably checking my e-mail. Finally, after fifteen or so years as an amateur, I was ready to become a professional masturbator. Unfortunately, I'd been overzealous with the Promescent. I could barely muster the kind of erection you might get after several tumblers of hard alcohol. The problem wasn't numbness so much as anhedonia of the genitals. Masturbating felt like listening to a Phish song; I was ten minutes in with no end in sight, just a lot of aimless noodling. After twenty fruitless minutes, I gave up, limp from exhaustion and local anesthesia.

The next day, I got "back to work" using only three spritzes. Though it diminished the sexual sensation, the lower dose made pleasuring myself feel less like a Sisyphean chore and more like eating the last piece of pizza just because it's there. After eleven minutes, I finally finished my pizza. I'd call it a "climax" in the same way that crossing "wash dishes" off your to-do list is the "climax" of washing dishes.


And the sex sounds even worse. Yeesh.

He concludes with, "If you or a man you know is a quick draw and doesn't want to be, Promescent will probably help, but finding the correct dosage — something I never determined — is crucial." And seeing that he tried it a few times in different situations, it'd probably takes someone serious about the task to get it right. However, for high school boys with constant boners and others who can't last longer than the amount of time between Lindsay Lohan's arrests, it could save your social life?

*You can't help but wonder if just using lidocaine cream would have the same effect and maybe cost much less? That might be what the non-FDA approved stuff is made of?

[The Cut]

Image via Jenn Huls/Shutterstock

Share This Story

Get our newsletter


Well I have seen a lot of solid sex advice here over the years, so I'll give it a shot on this article. I've been dating this very sweet man for a little over 6 months now, and he suffers from PE. Like, really bad - most of the time he comes while we're still in our underwear and making out, without any physical touching down there. He might come 2 or 3 times before intercourse, and only last for about 30 secondes in me (whether oral or PIV).

I know he tries to think about something else to slow him down sometimes (like the first time we had sex) and it kinda works too well because then, he can't come at all. At other times, we're just laying in bed and hugging, kissing, he gets excited, starts... rubbing on me, I guess that's the word, and ejaculates. Get up, cleans himself, go back to bed, and we just hug in silence.

He's very anxious - not just in bed, but in every aspect of his life - and I've tried to help him, but it doesn't seem to get much better. I'd say we have a healthy sex life considering the circumstances (he makes sure I'm always satisfied with his fingers or tongue and is pretty good at it), and we've talked about it a little, but I hope it can get better. I really enjoy sex, am more experienced than him, and really would like to keep going on this path with him. I told him it doesn't matter to me as long as he's having a good time and experiences pleasure (cause honestly, it really doesn't - we all have our bagage, and it's the most intimate sex I've had, even if not the most groundbreaking), that we can slow down, he can tell me to stop, everything. When it happens I react like it's not a big deal (again, for me, it's not) and nothing to be ashamed, just a part of the way we make love. I've tried leading the action, letting him take the lead, with or without alcohol (someone here suggested whiskey, we had almost everything under the sun ;)), at various times of the day, etc, nothing matters.

I don't think it's a biological problem, he once lasted for ten minutes the second time we had sex during the night, and honestly I couldn't wait for him to come (he's actually kind of big for me and I was starting to get sore !), and he apparently has no problem when he's masturbating on his own (I don't know if it's common for men with PE or not).

He's a very sweet, sensitive, delicate boy - he cooks for me, writes me poems, lots of amazing stuff really - and is very shy, anxious, guarded, about many aspects (not just sex), even with me, even after all this time. I'm basically his exact opposite (could chat up anyone about anything) but try not to force him and to take things at his own pace, so I spend a lot of time conforting him and hugging him quietly. I can feel his vulnerability, he doesn't try to hide it or anything (which is really touching) and I truly want to help him. I know he wants to get better. I don't want him to change or anything, he's great and one of the most amazing person I've ever met, but I just want him to not feel bad like this. Whatever happens during sex doesn't bother me much, as long as we're both having fun.

Has anyone here any advice on how to handle a situation like this ? Any tips ? All help or experience will be sincerely appreciated, thanks :)

(sorry if there are mistakes in my text, english is not my first language :))