• Joe Exotic’s legal team reportedly dropped thousands of dollars at a Trump-owned hotel in an effort to get the president to pardon the incarcerated Tiger King star. [The Daily Beast]
  • “I would marry Stephen [Coletti], I would fuck Brody [Jenner], and I’d probably kill Justin Bobby,” revealed Kristin Cavallari during a round of Fuck, Marry, Kill on Instagram. “No hard feelings! Probably because I haven’t talked to him since The Hills.” [Page Six]
  • Drake’s son, Adonis, remains very cute. [Hollywood Life]
  • Please don’t buy Melania Trump’s inevitable memoir. Piracy exists! [Page Six]
  • Oh, great, Demi Lovato’s starfucker ex-fiancé is dating another pop star. [TMZ]
  • Rest in peace and power, Charles Entertainment Cheese.