Infant Politician Blames 'Early Childhood Education Funding' For Making Him Abuse Women

Illustration for article titled Infant Politician Blames Early Childhood Education Funding For Making Him Abuse Women
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Aaron Coleman, the 19-year-old answer to the question of what would happen if you spliced the most disingenuous college Democrat with the dweebiest frat boy on campus, is back this week with another round of excuses about which harrowing obstacles from his past are causing him to reportedly abuse women in the present.

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Just weeks after claiming that his transgressions against women were the result of growing up poor and having a disabled father, Coleman, a Democratic hopeful for a Kansas State House seat, who eked out a primary win last month, admitted to kind-of-maybe abusing ex-girlfriend Taylor Passow in a tweeted statement— but said that a lack of “early-childhood education funding” and good models of “healthy interpersonal relationships” likely contributed to his alleged abuse.

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In August, Passow told The Intercept that Coleman slapped and choked her without her consent in a hot tub. While Coleman admitted in the statement to having abused his ex, he simultaneously argued that alcohol might have had an impact on Passow’s exact recollection of events — possibly pioneering a new brand of gaslighting in the process.

“While it is true I was abusive to my ex-girlfriend, I do not agree with the characterization being made about our experience in the hot tub the day after Christmas,” Coleman wrote in the statement. “I did not choke her. I also don’t think she is intentionally lying, as I know large quantities of alcohol could be affecting both of our memories.”

Coleman has previously confirmed claims published by the New York Times that he circulated revenge porn of a 13-year-old girl seven years ago, and that called a sixth-grade girl fat and told her she should kill herself.

Maddeningly, Coleman also used his statement as an opportunity to pivot seamlessly between confirming allegations of abuse to touting his own policy platform.

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“We must strive to create a society safe for women, which we currently do not do ... additionally, we must ” he wrote. This kid has learned from the best. The future of politically mendacious sociopaths is bright.

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DISCUSSION

workingclassgyros
Working Class Gyros

Do you have the day off tomorrow? I mean, if you have an open schedule Monday morning, there’s no reason you couldn’t start working on the future column describing how Coleman, now running as a Republican for a House seat, blames (in this order) Democrats, cancel culture, and women for his party switch. He’ll bemoan that America is no longer the America where men can be men. He’ll refer to himself as a “Gaetz Guy.” He will win the House seat, then have to vacate it one month later when it’s revealed that he diverted PPE dollars meant for a local charter school to fund his underground Bigfoot porn site. He’ll then be subsequently booted from the Republican party. If there’s one thing Republicans aren’t down with, it’s messing with charter schools.