Important advisory for those of you indulging in a little FALL FUN: If you find yourself wandering the endless vegetal corridors of the Cool Patch Pumpkins corn maze in Dixon, California, do not call 911.
You laugh now! But CBS Sacramento (via Modern Farmer) reports that multiple visitors have found themselves so thoroughly lost within the 63-acre labyrinth that it began to get dark and they panicked and called emergency services. In fact, according to owner Matt Cooley, this has been happening damn near once a week.
"When it's dark, all you see is corn," said Cooley. "They are afraid and they are tired. They are tired of being lost, which is the whole idea." (He also admitted to the CBC that, on a moonless night, it's basically impossible to tell which way you're going.)
"I think they are overwhelmed. You can get a little worked up when you can't get out of a place and everything looks the same," added an officer from the Solano County Sheriff's Department. Do not be fooled by Field of Dreams; IRL cornfields bear a much closer resemblance that scene from the X-Files movie. They are enormous and monotonous and quite frankly sinister. It doesn't even take the world's largest corn maze to render you teary-eyed with frustration. Modern Farmer points to this frantic nighttime 911 call from a Massachusetts couple with a three-week-old baby who seriously did not enjoy their adventure: "We thought this would be fun. Instead, it's a nightmare."
In an attempt to prevent anybody else from panicking, Cooley encourages visitors to carry a map. The Solano County Sheriff's Department asks that if you do find yourself lost in the Cool Patch Pumpkins corn maze and require immediate assistance, please try very hard not to tie up 911. Call their non-emergency line.
Image via CBS Sacramento