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Tracy Anderson, celebrity trainer to the stars, is opening a gym in London, so that city’s Times profiled her and she had a few things to say about her famous clients. On training Gwyneth Paltrow, with whom she opened a gym in Manhattan earlier this year, Anderson had this to say:

Paltrow apparently struggled at first, for she rarely so much as walked anywhere. “Bless her heart, she couldn’t do cardio,” Anderson says. “Literally she couldn’t go outside without the paparazzi being everywhere.” Her feet hurt during Anderson’s classes. “I had to get a mini trampoline for her and she was so cute.”

Imagine Gwyneth Paltrow with the coordination of a newborn giraffe bouncing on a mini trampoline. Really, I just want you to hold that image in your head and cherish it.

Anderson also had a few less-than-flattering things to say about her former client Madonna, with whom she parted ways in 2009. Here is one:

“Well, I mean, I wouldn’t look to Madonna for psychological advice,” Anderson replies. Madonna wanted to keep performing, which was one thing, but Anderson says that she began turning away celebrities “who want to look 30 when they’re 50. I think that’s a problem . . . I’m a 42-year-old mother of two. I’m not getting my face tucked or nipped or whatever.”

And another:

“Madonna can demand whatever she wants to demand, she’s Madonna, that’s just what it is,” Anderson says. “It wasn’t working for me because my demands are like, I have a kid. When I missed my son’s saxophone concert because of a training session with her, I was like, ‘I can’t do this any more.’ That was it for me.”

I hope you’re still holding onto that image of Gwyneth on that trampoline, as it is a gift.