I'm Inspired By This Escapee Rodeo Cow Surviving in the Alaska Wilderness

Photo: Getty

Betsy, a beautiful cow that has stolen my heart and her freedom, is on the run in Anchorage, Alaska, hopefully never to be contained between four walls again. According to the Washington Post, Betsy busted out of cow jail (the rodeo) over six months ago and has been wandering around a 4,000 acre park within the city limits, eluding capture.

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Every time that Frank Koloski, Betsy’s owner, gets a call that someone has spotted her, my wily bitch is gone by the time he gets there. He has enlisted the local Fat Bike community, co-workers, and trudged around in the pouring rain, all to no avail. Koloski spoke about Betsy to the Post in a way that I can only just hope someone speaks about me someday: “I’m just totally exhausted from looking day in and day out. She’s a go-getter, that’s for sure.”

Koloski has been leaving out hay bales and salt blocks for Betsy, who he calls his “ghost in the darkness.” He’s also apparently come up with a “plan” that is definitely not this sucker just walking into Betsy’s trap to free all the other cows:

Koloski has a plan in place: If he can just figure out where Betsy is hiding, he’ll bring several other cows to that location. Betsy will immediately rush toward the other cattle, he predicts, and a number of his rodeo acquaintances have already volunteered to help him rope her. Until he knows exactly where she’s located, though, he’s not eager to let the other cows loose in the dense, dark woods.

Seems like everyone’s a mark. Unless you’re a Betsy.

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