I'm Forced to Respect JoJo Siwa

Illustration for article titled I'm Forced to Respect JoJo Siwa
Image: Noam Galai (Getty Images)

JoJo Siwa, a 17-year-old “personality” with a startlingly deep voice, terrifies me in many ways. Her energy is boundless in a way that feels slightly unnatural, and also, I’m worried about her hairline. However, after this recent kerfuffle involving a board game called “JoJo’s Juice,” which is targeted at children and has questions about nudity and twerking (?), I am forced to respect her for how well she handled this blowback!

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The game in question is targeted at children aged 6 and up and reportedly featured many questions that are, uh, really inappropriate for children, leading me to wonder who and what and how this game got made? Honestly, I am not even clutching a pearl, but how did they let this shit slide? I’m also not interested in accusing the fine people at game manufacturer Spin Master for being perverts or whatever, but how did this get through?

From Insider:

Parents complained that Siwa’s game “JoJo’s Juice” asked players questions like “Have you ever walked in on someone naked or had someone walk in on you?” and “Have you ever gone outside without underwear (a bathing suit doesn’t count)?”

Other questions... asked players “Have you ever stolen from a store?”; “Have you ever been arrested?”; “Who in this room would you most like to date?”; and “Have you ever taken money from someone’s purse or wallet without asking?” Cards also asked if players had “kissed a boy” and “learned the art of twerking.”

There’s something very distressing about the specificity of the parenthetical in the question about the underwear, and I don’t like it. Other people, mostly parents of children who are obsessed with JoJo Siwa and her hair bows, also did not like these questions, which are actually real and not fake, per the TikTok below.

Yikes!! Yikes! Bad! Ah! Anyway, JoJo put on her best sequined tee and matching sequined bomber to hop on Instagram and issue a very sincere and professional apology for the game and its contents, both of which she was not responsible for.

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Say what you will about JoJo, but this woman is media-trained within an inch of her life and has been since she was small. I used to be frightened of her, if only because her boundless energy makes me reflect on my own mortality, but now I want only the best for her? Ditch the sequins, get a pixie cut, pull a Miley Cyrus circa the 2013 MTV VMAs, and live a little, ma’am!! [Insider]


I’m glad Cardi B is happy and all that, and I’m even appreciative of her being this horny on her regular-degular Instagram, but I would be okay if I didn’t have to think about what and how HornyHyena fits into her robust and seemingly quite-active sex life with Offset.

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I love love! [Instagram]


  • If this unsubstantiated and wild rumor about Kanye West and Jeffree Star (?!?) is true, I am going to fake my own death and disappear. [HITC]
  • This (the Weeknd’s plastic surgery) is fake! It’s a prosthetic! Don’t be gullible like me! [Us Weekly]
  • Sorry, I’d hope that Alec Baldwin was “supportive” of his wife, Ee-Laaaaah-Ria in the face of this patently ridiculous and very stupid controversy over whether or not she is from Spain???? [People]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

DISCUSSION

weeptalker
chocolate covered raisons d'être

Holy shit. Are the game developers actual registered sex offenders? Also how is “JoJo’s Juice” not an extra-amped energy drink? Seems like a missed opportunity.