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Idiot Starts Boycott Of American Women

Illustration for article titled Idiot Starts Boycott Of American Women

File under "too ridiculous to ignore": the "Boycott American Women" campaign.

Think of it as the opposite of shopping American: "Doug, in America" is determined to spread the gospel of American women's inferiority near and far. But we can't do the idea as much justice as the man himself. Writes Doug (presumably in America),

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

Then various other American men (well, three) chime in to bash American women. And while part of the problem is American women's "strong will" and lack of respect for traditional gender roles, they're also physically inferior. Writes Mark,

Many say that white American women's physical attractiveness declines much sooner and quicker than certain other races. Most won't leave the house until they gob on a ton of much-needed cosmetics just to look presentable. Many foreign women have much nicer body shapes, more feminine traits and a lot still have nice long hair, opposed to the boyish low-maintenance short cuts that most American women get by their mid to late teens and never grow back.

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Plus: a woman from your own country? BOR-ING!

Foreigners are INTERESTING and exotic. There are long, humorous, exciting conversations that are exchanged between the two parties, just about their day-to-day lives. We already know how most American women grew up, same as we did and that's boring. We've heard all the stories already, and probably lived them ourselves.

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And...what can we say? We stand accused and convicted. We suck. We'll never have a chance with Doug, Mark, James or Frank. But in an uncharacteristic bout of unselfishness, we're gonna go ahead and not begrudge the rest of the world such prizes.

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DISCUSSION

Alex Cannon

Funny, if you replaced every instance of "American Women" with "Black/Jewish/Not White Person" in all of those blogs, you would get pretty much any other whiny entitled white power website/blog out there. I wonder what Doug would say to that.

I wonder how Doug feels about non white males, in fact.

The big picture here is Doug has been watching his new boxed set of Mad Men DVDs and is totally bummed that the golden age of the white male is totally over, because if there weren't so many loud women in the way, he would be so much more than the second associate assistant manager at NoNameNobodyCares Insurance and would be living the LIFE right now.