I Wonder If I Could Be Loved As Deeply As Anwar Hadid Loves

All outta fresh Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers to scrawl on and unable to recall his Tumblr password, 19-year-old supermodel Anwar Hadid unleashed his innermost sensitivities via Instagram Story on Monday. And like a true emo, it had nothing to do with the election—according to Us Weekly, the teen is heartbroken over his maybe-sort of-definitely-sometimes fling Kendall Jenner, who just days ago got back with her own sometimes beau, basketball star Ben Simmons, in Philadelphia on November 1. You might remember him as Tinashe’s lesser-half of the greatest love story of our time.

In his Instagram story, Hadid wrote, “I wonder if i could be loved as deeply as i love” over an orange-y beige background and “BLOODY PALMS” over a black and white image of two hands. One is wearing a cross, the other is palm up, with some sort of scar—perhaps a reference to stigmata. Both are covered in pen ink. It’s poetry, really.

But what does it mean?

Let’s start with the first image: it’s impossible to tell what the background is, but considering the near perfect gradient and orderly specks of…stuff, I wager it’s a close up of a fabric or, more excitingly, a microscopic look at a fair-skinned person’s body. (If you watch as much YouTube as I do, you know that $20 will get you a decent microscope on Amazon and the ability to discover what really makeup looks like, as well as your skin, and the hairs on your skin.) It could be that those specks are actually follicles. But whose? And as for the caption “I wonder if i could be loved as deeply as i love,” that’s just some sad boy shit. I was really hoping it was a Fall Out Boy lyric, but alas, they’re just not clever enough.

Moving on to those BLOODY PALMS! There’s some obvious Christianity play here between the stigmata-y scar and the rosary, and in any other scenario could be written off as moody model being a moody model. However, the scribbling on both hands makes me think it’s Kendall-adjacent. What’s legible reads “please thank you” in cursive, “WHY ARE you still in my mind,” and “same + different.” It reminds me of last summer when Sophie Turner and now-fiancé Joe Jonas made headlines for writing on each other’s hands—in that case, Joe wrote “Joe gives me da good good” on Sophie and this is…much darker than that.

So who is writing on Anwar these days? If this is a message to Kendall that, hello, he’s heartbroken, then who helped him send it? I am open to any and all conspiracy theories.

Oh, and in case you were wondering where sister Gigi Hadid is with all of this, a “source” told Hollywood Life:

“Gigi has vowed to stay out of things between Kendall and Anwar, she knows he can take care of himself. But still, she’s a little disappointed that the romance between them seems to be cooling off. Gigi would love for them to get serious and still has high hopes of things working out. She’s trying not to pressure them and let whatever happens, happen. She loves them as a couple though and hasn’t given up hope that they’ll end up together. She feels like they would make a great thing long-term.”