If you are a man who has decided to storm the Capitol on January 6, would you also take the time to pause your insurrection activities to get into an argument with your ex-girlfriend over text? Common sense would dictate that this would not be wise, but common sense clearly wasn’t working for Richard Michetti, a man who is now in BIG trouble with the authorities for his role in the attempted coup.
The Washington Post reports that it was an ex-girlfriend who told informed authorities of Michetti’s presence at the insurrection. Michetti took a moment in his rioting to get into an argument with his ex-girlfriend, sending her pictures and video of the scene at the capitol. “It’s going down here,” he texted his ex, according to court documents. “We stormed the building they held us back with spray and teargas and paintballs.” God knows what his ex said in response to this, but whatever it was, Michetti was moved to call her a “moron” in a text a few hours after. That was the final straw; his ex turned him into the FBI, sending along the videos and pictures this dolt had sent her, as well as their text chain. Obviously, this was all they needed to snatch his ass up and arraign him in court on Tuesday.
Michetti has been charged with “knowingly entering a restricted building, violent entry and disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds, and obstruction of Congress.” If he is convicted, he will face up to 20 years in prison. Listen! If you are stupid enough to storm the Capitol in the first place, on the basis of a lie, then you deserve this. But if you’re also stupid enough to call your ex-girlfriend a “moron” for NOT believing the lie that you believe to be true, well, I don’t know what to tell you!
I salute this brave woman who recognized that her shitty ex, Richard, was standing on her one remaining nerve and decided to do something about it. May we all be as brave to draw upon the vast wells of pettiness and justice that lives within all of us. Not all heroes wear capes, as they say, but some of them have dated mistakes and understand that karma is real. Thank you, ma’am, for your service.