I Have 8 Types of Cheese in My Fridge Right Now But Not Kraft Singles, Thank God

Last month, Kraft announced that they were recalling thousands of boxes of their “cheese” singles. On Thursday, they went further, recalling 335,000 cases on top of the 36,000 already taken off the market, because more customers reported that they too had eaten a piece of wrapper plastic instead of straight cheese.

“The privately held company said it’s received two new reports of customers choking,” the AP reported. “It disclosed three such reports in July, and said it had received seven other complaints about the packaging.”

So, around 10 people were eating cheese so quickly that they haven’t been able to discern what was plastic and what was cheese until it was too late. On the one hand, as a cheese aficionado myself, I feel for these individuals. Sometimes, you just want it real bad and all of a sudden half of your stock is gone and you don’t know how it happened. And let’s be real: Kraft singles already bear a striking resemblance to plastic.

On the other hand, this is an embarrassing thing to complain to a company about. “Hi, yes, ma’am, I was eating my Kraft single so quickly that all of a sudden I realized I was eating wrapper. Fix me please!” Slow your roll. This is not cute.

And because I know you’re dying to know: the types of cheese currently in my fridge are cottage, feta, mozzarella, cheese sticks, goat, queso fresco, parmesan, and extra sharp cheddar.