I Hate Earnestness, But I Love These Singing Seals

Illustration for article titled I Hate Earnestness, But I Love These Singing Seals
Screenshot: YouTube

Truly nothing—nothing—warms the cockles of my cold and hideous heart like these seals who have been trained to “sing” songs.


According to People, a seal named Zola is now able to reproduce musical notes that sound sort of like the Star Wars theme song, and definitely like the iconic children’s ditty “Twinkle, twinkle, little star.” Researchers studied the vocalizations of three grey seals, including Zola, and then trained them to utilize their voices in an approximation of “music.” It’s not not music, but it is... something? Endearing, mostly. Adorable. Extremely earnest in a way that I generally abhor in humans, but welcome in fauna. Just look at this guy.

What’s remarkable is not how well the seal can sing the song, but how shy the seal is about the fact that it is singing. Never mind that its enclosure resembles the swampy surroundings that the Fish God from The Shape of Water inhabited; I am sure that nothing nefarious is afoot here and it is all just kosher scientific research. Look how proud she is! Nothing like performing a feat that you thought you couldn’t do and then jumping back into your pool of dark water to deal with the internal strife caused by your capability. It’s what I wish for every day: confidence, humility, self-assuredness. Calm. Good girl, Zola. Good girl.

Senior Writer, Jezebel


I give them my seal of approval!