I Guess Nancy Pelosi on a T-Shirt Is Supposed to Be Empowering?

Another International Women’s Day will be upon us on Sunday, which means a window of opportunity for brands to empower the ladies. If no one refers to my vagina as a SHEro, did the holiest of capitalist holidays even take place? In the 12 months since last year’s #IWD came and went, companies have gotten better at limiting their hashtag-girl power rhetoric. It appears that any pro-women posturing is now partnered with a charitable contribution to an organization meant to benefit women—a welcomed improvement from years past.

Of course, there’s still room for improvement. In honor of the occasion, I’ve compiled all the companies that did their due diligence to spread the good gospel of feminism through questionable-at-best marketing. Please join me on this journey of consumer empowerment.

The above image comes courtesy Taylor Swift’s BFF, Stella McCartney. The designer is empowering women everywhere with a $295.00 “International Women’s Day printed cotton-jersey T-shirt,” where “100% of the profits* from the sale of this product will go to Women for Women International. Women for Women International is a registered charity in England and Wales (UK charity registration number 1115109),” and “100% of profits” is defined as “the sale price of the product less operational and landing costs, including transportation fees, customs, duties, taxes, insurance, currency conversion, crating, handling and payment fees.”

It’s unclear how much these luxury shirts cost to make, but McCartney could probably afford to donate 100% of sales? I appreciate the attempt at full transparency here, but consumers might be better off making their own donation to Women for Women International.

When Nancy Pelosi tore up Trump’s 2020 State of the Union speech, I assume she solved structural inequality. The only way to be sure is to buy the t-shirt:

Here’s an email Jezebel received from “The Outrage”:

In the wake of last Tuesday’s State of the Union address, The Outrage is launching their ‘Nancy Pelosi Is A Hero’ tee in celebration of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s iconic shredding of President Donald Trump’s speech. Speaker Pelosi is the *mood* getting us through this presidency. Proceeds benefit ACLU.

But is this shirt a mood?

Ever wonder how a brand could dismantle the dangerous social norms around gender? Me too. Instead, here’s a cricket company that has instituted pink and purple stickers….for International Women’s Day:

How do you spell “f-e-m-i-n-i-s-m”? F-R-E-E B-R-U-N-C-H:

Or C-R-U-I-S-E:

How about some YASSS QUEEN Meghan Markle-branded ice cream?

Why pay women artists equitably when you can just broadcast how many cheap plays they’re getting? Such is the logic of Spotify:

Finally, Outdoor Voices has released a collaboration with Cartoon Network’s The Powerpuff Girls of their mega-popular Exercise Dress—blue for Bubbles, pink for Blossom, and green for Buttercup. Not at all infantilizing, and for just $100. At least 15% of sales benefit the ACLU’s Women’s Rights Project.