I Feel For Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's Many Children

Illustration for article titled I Feel For Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitts Many Children
Image: Monica Schipper (Getty Images)

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s never-ending divorce issues have been ongoing since 2016, when the couple first officially filed for divorce, and have somehow continued into 2020. According to Us Weekly’s nefarious network of “insiders,” their collected brood of children is “acutely aware” of the messiness of their parents’ divorce and custody proceedings—a statement so painfully obvious that it hardly merits mention. And yet!

Advertisement

According to this “insider,” Pitt is still estranged from Maddox, following a 2016 incident on a private plane. Zahara and Pax are reportedly “old enough to choose” whether or not they want to see their father and, per this “insider, have chosen to abstain for the moment. I sincerely wish Brad and Angelina well as they trod down whatever path life has for them, but I don’t feel nearly as bad for them as I do for their children, who have had to endure the glaring spotlight of their parents’ combined fame for their entire lives.

It’s not that I don’t think famous people should have children—they should, they can, and they certainly don’t need my permission to do so. But the continued examination of the dregs of whatever either party’s PR machine can poop out is exhausting for both the general public and the children involved. Divorce is ugly, the world at this current moment is hideous, and wouldn’t it be an interesting thought experiment to consider just... collectively taking a break from attempting to spin gold out of garbage? [Us Weekly]

Advertisement

Did you forget that LuAnn de Lesseps makes music? I didn’t. I never will. And now, a reminder.

Nothing goes better with coffee and a nice cherry scone than the dulcet tones of the Countess intoning “viva la diva” over a half-hearted, disco-adjacent beat. People calls this an “empowerment” anthem, and I don’t quite agree, but I guess it means something that the lackluster chorus to this number has replaced “WAP” as the number-one song playing in my brain at any moment. [People]


  • These people broke up. [Hollywood Life]
  • Chrissy Metz and this man also broke up. [Hollywood Life]
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race alum Tyra Sanchez was arrested for vandalism. [TMZ]
  • Shouts to this scammer impersonating Ronnie Woods of the Rolling Stones. [Page Six]
  • Is Gigi Hadid craving strawberries and cinnamon buns because she’s pregnant?? We’ll never know!! [Us Weekly]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

SPEAKING OF DRAG RACE, Fuck!

Can we please have a moment to mourn the passing of the gorgeous and inimitable Chi Chi DeVayne?  A true class act with a heart of gold, taken from us way too soon.