I Am Still Thinking About Stephen Miller's Spray Hair

There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to make an important decision: accept his destiny and shave the remainder of his rapidly balding hair or do whatever he possibly can to hang on to those remaining follicles.

President Trump’s ghoul of a policy adviser, Stephen Miller, has gone his own way: the spray-on-hair route, perhaps one of the, uh, boldest, responses to a bald future:

For reference, the photo on the left is what Stephen Miller’s hair usually looks like.

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What is behind this pivot? Does he feel insecure? Did he just watch one of those ‘90s GLH commercials and get inspired?

We may never know, but either way, fuck this fucking guy and his fake fucking hairline.