How to Tell the Difference Between Wind and a Ghost

Illustration for article titled How to Tell the Difference Between Wind and a Ghost
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Lea Michele, whom you know for recently getting married and Glee, swung by A Little Late with Lilly Singh Thursday night to talk about maybe one time seeing a ghost. In reality, it was probably just wind, and the very New York experience of hearing your neighbors singing and fucking and whatever else it is that neighbors do. (It’s mostly singing and fucking.)

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She said:

“I feel like a lot of people say, ‘Yes, I saw a ghost,’ but I really, truly had a ghost in an old apartment that I lived in New York. Like, truly, I swear. I’m sitting on the bottom floor of this apartment and I hear this burst from upstairs and I’m like ‘Okay, that was really spooky.’ It was a windstorm so I’m like, ‘The window must have blown open!’ I go upstairs, nothing; it’s silent. Nothing is out of place, I’m alone, and I’m looking at this window and I’m like, ‘Ugh, it’s all in my head,’ and just as I say it, the window goes ‘Whoosh!’ right in front of me... And also weirdly, I would hear someone singing in the apartment.”

Okay? Looks like she needs to read Jezebel’s Scary Story contest to learn about some real ghosts. Or, she can check out my handy guide below.

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How to tell the difference between a ghost and wind, by me:

  • Does this ghost only appear to shut and open windows? In your old apartment? In an old city? It’s probably wind.
  • Have you seen mysterious figures appear around you or in photographs that were not there previously? Have you ruled out any break-ins or loved ones? It’s probably a ghost.
  • When in doubt, consider that creeping feeling to be the ghost of Lea Michele’s career.

Thank you, and good night.

No. Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

I was in bed, awake but still very sleepy, lying on my stomach, when my cat jumped on the bed and walked over my legs. I could feel and hear her. Then awoke a little more fully and I realized I’d moved out of my parents’ house 20 years ago and hadn’t had a cat in the time since. Conclusion: I have a ghost cat, which is cool because I like cats but my wife is allergic.