Hosting a party can be a stressful undertaking. Will people come? Will they have fun? Is vomit bad for houseplants? We answer all these questions and more.
Figure out what kind of party you’re having
This seems obvious, but it’s an important first step. I talked with Jorj Morgan, author of At Home Entertaining: The Art of Hosting a Party With Style and Panache, who told me that the kind of party you’re having will determine how many people you invite, and when you invite them. The first question you should ask yourself: “How can I party in this space?” If you’re having a sit-down dinner party, you’re limited by the number of seats at your table. If you’re having a buffet, you obviously have more leeway, but you still have to consider how much food you can make/buy and how much space you have for people to comfortably sit and eat. If you’re not serving a meal at all, then you just need to make sure you don’t pack your place so full that people start a) running out of alcohol or b) crushing each other to death. I tend to subscribe to the invite-everyone-you-know school of party-giving, which usually results in fun and sometimes in property damage. Just keep in mind that if you invite more people than you can easily keep track of, somebody is probably going to break a plate or get footprints on your wall (I still don’t know how this happened).
Defining your party is also a matter of figuring out its level of formality. Morgan says the more formal the party, the farther in advance you should send invitations. You also want to allow a lot of lead time if there are guests you absolutely need to be there — if you’re throwing a surprise party for a friend, for instance, and you want all his other best friends in attendance. She notes that there is no universal correct amount of time for any of this — I generally go with a week for your average fun-time bash, two for anything more official.
Let the invitation fit the party
Says Morgan,
The more informal the party, the more informal the invitation. Your invitation is almost like the poster to a movie, it’s describing what kind of party you’re going to have, it’s setting the mood, it’s telling them what to wear, and it’s putting them at ease, so when they accept this party invitation, they know exactly what they’re getting into. So if it’s a formal sit-down party for eight people, it should be more of a printed invitation or a handwritten note, something mailed to them. If it’s an informal party […] it can be an email or an e-vite.
I’m always excited to get an actual paper invitation, but I’m aware that outside of weddings, it’s become pretty rare. I think that for most events, a classy e-vite is fine — but obviously don’t be like “hey guysss, 9 pm til late byob” if you’re celebrating your mom’s eightieth birthday. I tend to invite via both Facebook and e-mail — some people really want to have the Facebook invitation, while others studiously ignore everything that comes through that channel. There’s always going to be a third group who are annoyed about getting too many messages, but if they really like you they will put that aside and come to your party anyway.
Start early.
One year I started preparing for my birthday party at 6 PM the night it was happening. I was so frazzled and confused that in my first foray out into the world I went to three stores and came back with: one six-pack of normal beer, one six-pack of weird beer, three limes, a bag of arugula, and a bottle of strawberry juice. Obviously I had to go out again, and the party ended up going fine, but I would’ve been a lot more relaxed if I’d started prepping a couple days ahead. Patricia Mendez, author of Easy Entertaining for Beginners: You Can Throw a Fabulous Party, from Holiday Fiesta to a Romantic Evening for Two, gave me this advice:
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