Think about Christmas for a second. Sex is probably the first thing that comes to mind. How do you think Jesus got here? (…Never mind) Knowing everyone’s desire to have sexual intercourse on Christ’s Born Day, Ariana Grande blessed us with a Christmas album we can all bone to.
Christmas & Chill—it says so in the title—isn’t just your standard festive Christmas album made for celebrating joy, family and the birth of baby Jesus. Make no mistake, this is a sex album under the guise of a holiday project—an “EP” as she’s calling it. Whatever. The album was created solely for the purpose of getting and maintaining ass (the “Chill” part), specifically around Christmastime.
Is it a good album? For the purpose of sexing, yes. This is a solid set of six catchy deliberate slow jams set to a breathy pace (not joking: “Wit It This Christmas” is my fave), with tons of Xmas references and twinkling sound effects. Who wouldn’t want to fuq to a Christmas album? But how? How do you do it? Easy. Instructions below.
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