Houston’s Last Remaining News Radio Station Now a Beyoncé-Only Station

Residents of Houston, Texas, are no longer able to tune into the boring, droning, informative news radio, after the city’s only all-news station has ceased broadcasting. Its replacement? Beyoncé.

That’s right. All Beyoncé. All the time. That’s a lot of Beyoncé even for her hometown. It’s too much Beyoncé if you ask me, and yet it might not be enough. I have calculated that Beyoncé’s entire discography, all of her studio albums, live albums, and even some of those other releases like the short album that came with her perfume Heat is around 13 hours and 10 minutes. And 44 seconds. And there are other releases that I didn’t take into account, and maybe they’ll include her karaoke album. Yes, that’s a lot of Beyoncé normal consumption, but for a station that will be playing Beyoncé for 24 hours, the supply may be a bit short.

I’m assuming this is a cute gimmicky way to fill the slot until someone else buys the airtime, though judging by this sad statement issued by News 92 FM, this could (once again) signify the death of radio:

We’d like to thank the News92 staff for their outstanding service, our advertisers and each of you our listeners and web visitors for your support. This difficult decision is a result of sustained poor ratings performance and significant financial losses over the past three years despite the substantial financial and human resources we invested. Unfortunately, the market hasn’t shown a sustainable appetite for news radio, but each of you motivated us daily to produce a high-quality news program. Together, we made history.

I wonder if they knew the fate that awaited their airtime. I wonder if they knew the station was going to become an All-Beyoncé party when they shut down. May Beyoncé have mercy on them.