Holiday Gift Guide: What Would You Buy a Malcontent?

Illustration for article titled Holiday Gift Guide: What Would You Buy a Malcontent?

We've all got a few in our lives. It might be raining pizza and gold doubloons and she'd be annoyed because she's lactose intolerant and the sky's grotesque flaunting of its supposed wealth is déclassé. IT IS FREE PIZZA AND MONEY. Seriously, you cannot please this woman!

However, there have to a be a few great things to gift certified haters — and I know you all have some ideas. Let's use our collective brain cloud to focus on what will make our grumpiest, grouchiest besties turn that frown upside down, even if it's just for a hot minute. OK, a hot second.

Image via Mostovyi Sergii Igorevich/ Shutterstock.

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jennasauers
Jenna Sauers

Lactose intolerant people can eat pizza. Cheese — with a very few exceptions, such as soft or whey-based cheeses like ricotta — contains practically no lactose. Because the enzymes (lactic acid bacteria) active in the process that turns milk into cheese literally digest the lactose. There is no reason for anyone with a lactose intolerance to go without pizza. So, in conclusion, if I were buying a present for a curmudgeon, I would get him or her CHEESE.